अरुणां करुणा तरंगिताक्षीं धृतपाशांकुश पुष्पबाणचापाम् । अणिमादिभि रावृतां मयूखैः अहमित्येव विभावये भवानीम् !

Its already the Navrathri weekend .”Can we plan the menu for the next week and the weeks ahead my dear?”….an anxious Kannamani asked the dutiful daughter-in-law.”Oh ! Yes Ma ! as you please,”replied an ever beaming and contended Vijaya.

It was Saturday evening and Vijaya was lighting the lamp at the altar. Kannamani went about like a littered kitten from one room to another.It was also the practice to light incense and spread Dhoop fumes in all the corners……a practice that Nayaki follows till date.....An adorable Saroja has taken the place of the affectionate Kannamani today and Nayaki feels truly blessed.

“It lends an air of divine ambience to the home,and I like to do it.As you light the lamp, keep the entrance door open for a while and allow the Goddesses of Health.Wealth and Prosperity to enter”…she added. Nayaki was a small child and her grandmother’s words were very inspiring. 

With the lilting melody of Lalitha Sahasranamam playing in the background, Kannamani  was back to her usual grumbling and nagging ways.”Remember we have less than a week left  for Vijaya Dashami.” .The menu for the past one month had been meticulously chalked out in the first week of the earlier month.”No onions,no garlic,no drumsticks,no cabbage,none of the English veggies save the carrots”….Kannamani would mumble often and Nayaki would be highly amused....

Even today I laugh heartily when I think of my grandmother.Planning and executing breakfast,lunch,dinner for the day,planning and executing breakfast,lunch and dinner for the next day,planning and executing breakfast, lunch and dinner for the days after and for the special days weeks or months later,buying veggies for the day,for the following day and the days after,stock taking of groceries and provisions for the day,the following day and the days after was a routine she followed meticulously till the end of her life...

Come weekends and the toiling hands would take turns in rolling the grinding stones to churn out a steady supply of idli/dosa batter for the coming week.The daily lunch menu during the Mahalaya paksha boasted of all that was uninteresting and unpalatable…”Oh !Patti !Can we please do without the banana stems and the gourds?”…Nayaki would beg and plead.Her pleas would go unheeded though and the seemingly merciless grandma had the final say every day…….that she would cajole and console a weepy child with bars of Cadbury’s chocolates is a secret that Nayaki would rather keep to herself. 

Decades later...........It is the 21st century and the year 2014.As September comes to a close it is Durga Puja time once again.A mod mami is back to old business.She plans and executes with perfection Nayaki style.Gourds and pumpkins are served for lunch.The senior citizens are a happy lot and the texting modern gen are irksome.With an aim to balance the old and the new,and to save precious time,Nayaki orders veggies online and pizzas are home made on demand.Breakfasts are a blend of TamBrahm and Continental veg……Aval Uppuma,Rava uppuma,Pongal with tomato chutney,Khichuree with Begun Bhaja for the conservatives ........Onion and garlic free Noodles ,Pastas and Nutella spread sandwiches for the youngsters.

"Its time to put on my thinking cap and gear up for a challenging week ahead," mumbles Nayaki."Just another week left for the Navrathri celebrations to end…..The rooms have to be cleared once again, furniture has to rearranged ,the mud dolls have to be wrapped in cloth and newspaper,and sent back securely to their designated positions up above  in the lofts where they will stay in hibernation for another year .Slotted angles will have to be converted as shelves even as books small and large,many heavy,some light,hard bound and paperback,story books and novels,pillow sized medical textbooks and glossy journals,log books and record books await  a release  from the stacked wardrobes ,and from underneath the cots " she grumbles....

Oh ! Ammmma ! Appapppppa !!!!!!! three generations to please! including yours truly,Nayaki groans!!!!!…her voice  inaudible ,a little hoarse or has it begun to sound like Kannamani’s ?

Kadalai Paruppu Sundal on Navrathri Day 1 for my special Chettiar Guests !

Whoever said that friends are destined to meet must be absolutely right.Are you a Piscean dearest friend ?...Oh ! if not ! Are you an ex Kolkatan ?Are you from the land of the Kobi guru ? Do you break into a song when you hear a twitter ?Are you obsessed with green cover.? Do the glaciers melt your heart.? Are you still a child,plain happy and content. ? Is your laughter interspersed with tears ? Do you move with the flow in tune with nature?You must be yourself….If the answer is YES to atleast any one of the above you are indeed my friend.

Seated very close to a window,whenever the going gets a little hard,I simply gaze outside  .With a heavy heart,I have now come to terms with the realization that some day, the open skies will be occupied too.Yet !Its me just me ,near a  window that overlooks the high rise Hyatt Regency on Mount Road Chennai,Its me, only me, who connects with the clouds above and the pitter patter of the rains while others unmindful of the presence of nature in all its beauty are buried in files or glued to monitors.

As I communicate with my peers and colleagues and also work,I can also see some green cover,huge mango, neem and banyan trees and I can hear little birds chirping.Thank heavens for these small mercies in my jungle.

I stretch a little and as my arms reach out to the mango leaves,I hear a thunderous sound from up above in the skies.Its 6PM,an aeroplane is preparing to touch down in nearby Meenambakkam, It leaves a long smoky trail behind…..and that is a sign for me to close shop , hurry home and complete the pending Golu work..

Not much progress," grumbled a tired Nayaki.She was just back from work wondering where to begin.The house was in shambles after yesterday's marathon loft clearance.She picked up courage and said to herself... "Go ! girl Go !..Start from where you had left yesterday."

With stars and clouds in front of my eyes,Oh ! how I wish I could go to sleep.....

Nayaki had made up her mind to have Dhal and roti for dinner.As she kneaded the dough memories of the past,some that she was a witness to and some hearsay came flashing in front of her eyes and hey presto,she was dreaming yet again with her eyes wide open..

Amma...Amma...Ammmaaaaa...Mayawati shouted at the top of her voice.I have finished my work for the day.I want to tell you that I will not be coming for work till Sunday.With a jolt,Nayaki woke up from her trance and blurted...What ? What did I hear ? That you will be on leave till Sunday ? That's impossible ! Nayaki told her in a fit of rage.... 

Mayawati is a trusted maid and Nayaki is dependant on her.Picking up courage and realising that she was human too,Nayaki in a  tone of authority and disdain,approved her absence..

Well ! Nayaki is a strong woman and though she relies on a help,if necessary she can raise to any occassion..

Having said that,I will continue to dream...

"Please the mother Goddess for nine days.Stay calm,Sing hymns in her praise and chant her divine name a thousand times," Ma would say.I listened to her in rapt attention as she rendered lovely musical compositions all in praise of the Divine Mother. 

Ma was married on the 1st of September 1963.A petite newly wed Iyer dame travelled all the way from Secunderabad to her inlaws home in Calcutta. 

As she stepped on Bhagirathi land,Subbu said "The Durga puja is approaching.This is the best time to be here in this City of Joy and I am sure you are going to enjoy every moment of your stay in this city." 

Vijaya was not too sure though.She had her apprehensions.Yet ! slowly but surely she was getting involved in the Bengal culture.She was on a vacation,a tourist coz !Subbu would plan a daily itenary and take her in and around the city. 

It was the month of October 1963.Puja frenzy had begun.The festivities were yet to begin but the mood palpable.

Localities were gearing up for the celebrations and Viji was wonderstruck.It was during the month that Subbu suddenly planned a trip to Kumartuli .

Kumartuli is a potters village in northern Kolkata. By virtue of their artistic creations these potters have moved from obscurity to national and international prominence. This Kolkata neighbourhood,supplies clay idols of Hindu gods and goddesses to pujas in Kolkata , its neighbourhoods and now all over the world.

Certain customs are observed religiously ,while sculpting the clay idol of Durga. On the auspicious day of the Rath Yatra festival, clay is collected from the banks of the holy Ganga. The entire process of idol-making, from the collection of clay to the final stages of decoration and ornamentation, is considered sacred. 

Another important event is Chokkhu Dhaan, that literally means ,the donation of the eyes, which occurs on a special auspicious day when the artists paint the eyes on the face of the idol. 

It seemed like a dream come true.The semi completed clay idols fascinated Vijaya.The deft nimble fingers that worked on the deities amazed her.She was bewildered at the sheer talent of a group of people......The clay idols were coming to life and it seemed like a trip to the abode of the Gods. 

"Learn a lesson from the clay ," Ma would say."Life is not a bed of roses but you have the power and the strength to mould it as you wish.Lead a pious life and be flexible.Try to be as eco friendly as possible.Our Earth is rich in resources.Use the resources carefully.The Earth is sacred ,and worship Bhoomi Ma." she would go on.... 

She would repeatedly say"So !Give the Golu an eco touch.Decorate the steps with mud dolls and wooden dolls.Remember to connect with the earth .We rise from dust to go back to dust.............

Yet ! as I spotted the papier mache Chettiar Mama Mami bommai in my Golu,paper being eco friendly too,an inner voice seemed to question the same earthy sentiment and the story teller in me was searching for answers as a logical explanation for a break from convention,and also the reason for the transition from the Simple Steps to the Elevated MODERN DAY THEMATIC GOLUS ......Can somebody NOW give me an idea puhleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze ?

    

BEAUTIFUL KASH BLOSSOMS,AWAKENING THE MOTHER & A MISHTI MAHALAYA !

The alarm in Nayaki's mobile prompts her to get up and she wakes  up to the strong smell of camphor, incense and the soothing melody of Rama Nama.Its 4AM... her day has begun and  had started much earlier for the senior citizens of the house who unmindful of the changing scenario ,will not leave a stone unturned in carrying out the daily rituals with religious fervour.

The aroma of the filter coffee is an intoxication and the kick needed to kick off.The courtyard swept and cleaned,the kitchen now awaits her. As she awaits for her Fairy Godmother to make her appearance ,she is already halfway ….the vegetables cut and the cooking on under strict guidelines...."Thou shall not cook without bathing,thou shall not taste the food at the time of cooking,thou shall not touch cooked items and milk products at the same time,thou shall not carryover food into the refriegerator,thou shall not waste food ....and thou shall be a strict vegetarian."

The food is offered to the Gods and the crow gets the first mouthful.The Iyer Fare is now ready to be served....

This is any typical morning in an Iyer joint family.The year is 2014 and mankind has made a giant leap in the field of technology. The net has worked and the revolution has entered the Iyer household.The family boasts of three generations who dispute to differ and conform to agree.Its a beautiful blend of youth, wisdom and experience.The patriarch is the only member untouched by the gadgets and unfazed by the day to day transitions.The landline is his lifeline.

"Saroja “....he calls out in an authoritative tone.”Have you seen my magnifying glass? I had placed it on the dining table beside the newspaper.I am sure you must have kept it somewhere.”The seventy five year old net and gadget savvy old woman is not bothered though."Oh !Why don't you hang it around your neck instead of searching for it all day long ?' she quips....and vacates the place in a hurry..only to ensure that, breakfast is ready for the insulin dependant old man.

He is unwilling for a change .Post paids and prepaids make no sense.Online billing and he is not willing......Yet he also has the final word, and as he browses blindfoldedly through the newspaper , all matters get the stamp of approval or disapproval on the dining table.The grand old mother is rather diplomatic too....a woman of steel,she would rather take sides with the texting new generation, on whom she depends for her needs today , than support her toothless consort..But just try,ignoring her dear husband or even the slightest of casual scorn and she will take all to task.She is a caregiver and a motherly figure for all.The head of the family ,the patriarch is helpless without her.

 The atmosphere is a rare blend of conflicts & agreements.The patriarch disagrees only to agree later and give in to the whims and fancies of the texting meditechs.As the day progresses manually and digitally,the temple becomes more divine catering to the needs of friends,relatives and well wishers.......

Ouch ! A stiff back ! Well ! Well ! I am happy nevertheless.....Now ask me why ?

As I go to bed tonight night,I will not dream of a thousand moons,I will not wander into dreamland....It shall be plain deep slumber....a good sleep after a hard day's work.

As a kid ,I was brought up in a rather liberal Iyer family where the elders were conservative unto themselves.I was raised to value traditions and customs in a spirit of merry making and the zest for life came from the celebrations. 

A festival was an occasion to wander away from the routine and appeasing the Gods was an excuse to break free.Ma was just like any other over indulgent mother.I was pampered and yet i was not spoilt.I was allowed to oversleep on holidays and she made sure that the bedroom was pitch dark till I got up. 

She was an early bird though .I remember watching her going about her tasks in a rather easy manner,a trait that I have picked up from her and thank my stars for that. 

Mahalaya holds a special place in my memories,a day that can never skip away from my schedules however tight they may be.Ma used to tune in to the Chandi path at 4AM on the Mahalaya day.She would wake me up and I used to get up immediately.As she listened,I would be beside her. 

"The stillness of the night has a calming effect and the Chandi Path can soothe your senses said Ma." I was rather naive and yet I liked to get up .The reason is simple.Ma is a good story teller and that's another trait that I owe to her. 

"Close your eyes and look up at the skies.Can you hear a growl ?Can you hear the clanks of the weapons?"she would say."Ma Durga is fighting a fierce battle with Mahisasur.The battle has begun on this Mahalaya day and she will emerge victorious on Dashami........she would go on..... 

The Chandi path done,a demure Iyer woman would get back into business.The Mahalaya chant is a melody that can infuse tremendous energy and evoke the Mahisasura Mardhini in any woman.Ma was no different.Single handeddly she would supervise Navrathri celebrations at home.Dad would chip in to build the steps and arrange the dolls. 

As I emptied the lofts today and brought down the mud dolls,a faithful and trusted helper was fixing the slotted angles.The steps have been neatly arranged.I boast of a heirloom of dolls some nearly 50 years old.My collection is a blend of the old and the new,and reflects my taste for tradition as a mix of ritualistic beliefs from Tamil Nadu ,Andhra Pradesh ,and West Bengal cultures.

At the end of the day I have been rewarded.If life is a miracle,an association with Kolkata is a blessing.If I was destined to spend twenty glorious years in Kolkata,I am destined to savour every single moment of the rest of my life as a TamBong.You can take a person away from Kolkata but you can never take away Kolkata from him/her.So true and with social media opening up,not withstanding geographical distances ,friendships have acquired a new meaning.New friends made and old ones staying in touch,I am rejuvenated.Having been in Kolkata is indeed a proof of good fortune.If not how does one explain the gift of Mishti Doi and Sondesh to faraway Chennai from Bancharam on Mahalaya day ? Miracles do happen and if I bond beautifully with another person other than a blood relation,he or she must be having a Kolkata connection.

So that is the way I am.Back breaking work cannot stop my zeal to carry on the Navrathri festivities.I am raring to explore,waiting for creative ideas to further enhance my GOLU.....All ideas are welcome and YES ! I TUNED IN TO MAHALAYA CHANDI PATH today...Vital Energy Good enough to last for one more year ....

Jayanti Mangalaa Kali Bhadrakali Kapalini | Durga Shiva Kshamaa Dhaatri Svaahaa Svadhaa Namosthuthe !

The Coromandel Express chugged slowly into Platform No 8 of the Howrah railway station.It was the month of August 1986 and Durga Puja was still a month away.Ever since Vijaya had made Kolkata her home,she had been actively participating in the neighbourhood Durga Puja every year and she was eagerly waiting for this puja , knowing very well that it could be her last puja as a resident Kolkatan ,for the family was set to migrate and settle down in the south of India the following year.

"Hey that is Hotel Saravana Bhavan on Theyagaraya Road ,Well !! Idlis can come later," I said to myself.. I am right now on flashback mode.I browse the morning papers, the net over a cup of filter coffee,and I can see myself on a narrow long corridored balcony with a shingada in my hand and a cup of tea .

Hey friends "that's my local address twenty eight years back ,and the view from the top.... I can see heads walking front and back ."The noise and the din was music to the ears and the mood always palpable...

YESSSS !!! I am sitting right on Gariahat junction , and I resided in a place so enviable.Rashbehari Avenue is one of the most prestigious and important avenues of Kolkata.A major portion of this road , is Gariahat,the prime shopping and a residential neighbourhood of south Kolkata. 

Rashbehari Avenue falls in the residential neighbourhood of Ballygunge.It was destined and Nayaki considers herself very lucky to have spent her childhood in the heart of a commercial hub in the City Of Joy.The princess lived in Yashoda Bhavan with the finest of sweetmeat shops and saree boutiques such as Adi Dhakeswari Bastralaya and Traders Assembly for neighbours.

She was a teenager when the family had shifted to the new house on the third floor.......a landmark on Gariahat junction.The sprawling balconies overlooked the Gariahat junction.She would roam....wander around.The place was mayhem and she guesses it still is....with people shoving and pushing one another,making a bid for the best buy at the craziest prices and purportedly believing in having clinched the best deal.The hawkers with makeshift shops that crowded the sidewalks were lively men waiting to pounce upon the prospective buyers...and once in, the gullible buyer had no way out.A tactical move on the part of the buyer had the hawkers going, and it just needed a simple bargaining to begin the process.Often the bid started at less than half the price quoted by the paan chewing seller and he would lure the tolerant buyer in his inimitable style of refusing and finally relenting.

It was again that time of the calendar to close all activities and just wander astray and to gorge on Bong sweetmeats and delicacies.The celebrations had begun a whole month ago,exams had been left behind and it was time to splurge ,with new dresses and six yards to be released.

Vijaya had Navrathri celebrations at home and the Pujas came free.That was the double bonanza of being a MadRasKolkatan with a TamBong connection.The pre-puja days were chaotically hectic I remember and I made frequent trips to the Traders and the Dhakeswaris to strike a bargain ."That was a cool buy ,"I would reassure myself and bring home a collection of Tangails,Jamdanis and Dhonekhalis...

Misty eyes camouflage my thinking now.It's nearly three decades since I had been to Kolkata last ,during a Durga puja.Every year as Mahalaya approaches,I become very emotional.I listened to Chandi Path rendered by Shri Birendra Krishna Bhadra today morning at 4AM with a lump in my throat .I was transported back to the good old golden days.The broadcast on Akashvani is vintage and the lyrics brought tears to my eyes.

The planks have descended from the lofts above and the GOLU STEPS have to be arranged today.

I hear the sound of a conch faraway up in the mountains,the grrrrrrrrrowl of the Mahishasur and the clank of the divine weapons .I see Mardhini emerging from behind the clouds and the triumph of good over evil,I see Ganesh,Karthik,Lakshmi ,Saraswathi too and I pray for TIMES NOW to stand still ...............

"Can you hear the sound of the Dhol?" I then reiterate, and ask myself repeatedly......

"Oh ! Not yet ! Though ! what I do seem to hear Is

 MIKE TAYSTING ! MIKE TAYSTING !"........intermittently..........

LIFE LIMPS BACK TO NORMALCY !

The four of us Father,mother,my brother and myself left for Calcutta by Coromandel Express,the very next day.A highly remorse filled uncle had come to see us off at the Chennai Central station.Knowing that both my brother and myself were avid reader of books,he took us to the Higginbotham's stores inside the station premises and purchased story books,left ,right and centre.I just stared in awe as he picked up books and also magazines at random. I still remember fondly,that inspite of my repeated pleas, requesting him not to spend so much on books,he remained defiant and we were overwhelmed.

Unable to express my gratitude in words,as I waved my hand from the moving train,a visibly troubled and shaken uncle was sharing my sentiments.He was trying to control hard but as tears rolled down his cheeks,I was choked with emotion too.That's my dear uncle....he roars but in reality he is tender hearted..

When I think of my golden bygone days, as I recollect now, I remember a few articles…..simple products that we used everyday in the sixtys and the seventys. I remember scented erasers topped with a strip of translucent green and a cheaper eraser called the Sandow. The long pencil with a small plastic hand with sharp fingers at the end was grandpa’s favourite.I remember the slate and the slim chalk pieces that screeched on writing .The teachers used the fatter ones in school ,we carried broken chalk pieces in our pockets and it was a pleasure to write on the black boards and erase using the dusty duster....We waited for the teacher to give us a chance to write on the blackboard and those who were denied an opportunity during the class hours ,made up for it when a teacher was absent,during breaks, in between the periods or after school hours.....That was Fun Unlimited....

“Good Morning Miss !” we screamed in unision. Mrs Narayanan,the chemistry teacher hurriedly reached out to the new wooden box and pulled out a white chalk.As she started writing on the blackboard ,we screamed yet again…”Maam ! It screeches.” Aah ! an ear sore…Please break it and use it “….the girls shouted in one voice.”That is an unforgettable moment of school life for all of us…Am I right ? “By the end of the day,the box was empty and chalk pieces, red. green, blue and white lay strewn on a powdery floor. The following day would be no different , for we did not care to stay quiet but Maam was set to rule thereafter.

Life was bubbly and carefree.Lifebuoy was the soap I washed my hands with . Hamam ,Margo or Cinthol were the bars to bathe with ,except for people with aspirations, who bought Moti, a fat round of soap ,too large for my small hands . Pears was a luxury and any household that routinely used Pears was a home that also bought Kissan jam,Kissan orange squash, Kissan Ketchup ,where the children went to convent schools and owned complete sets of the Amar Chitra Katha comics and the Enid Blyton series....

While the Dove has flown in today ,we still have the Chandrika and the Mysore Sandal loyalists.The sandalwood soap that was considered a luxury still reigns over millions of hearts .Chandrika continues to be a hot favourite for some and has stood firm ground...that it foams and dissappears soon is a reality even today. Surf came in a cardboard box ,in a sky blue colour and did not boast of breathing oxygen into the clothes.Tinopal and Ranipal were the only whiteners to stay on for a long time in the markets....till Ujala and more recently Vanish entered the markets.Vicco and Dabur are a few names that still hold sway.The Vicco and Boroline ad jingles are popular even today.

Nearly everybody used Colgate and that hasn't changed, but for a while Binaca  was a real contender and most of us know that Binaca sponsored the Radio Ceylon programmes "The Binaca Hit Parade" and later , film songs “ Binaca Geet Mala.”There was a short-lived star in the toothpaste arena, called Signal, which came in white and red stripes. Forhans and Kolinos were very popular too and the Dabur Red is my favourite today.

Talking of Binaca ,also brings to my mind,memories of a baritone Mr Ameen Sayani…He was probably the heartthrob of many till Amitabh Bacchhan and later Tejeshwar Singh  hit the screens....one reigned over tinseldom and the other shined on the small screen.Tabassum was a favourite too with her Phool Khile Hain Gulshan Gulshan on DD and Monday nights I was hooked to S.Kumar’s kee Filmi Mukadhama on VividhBharati.A trip to the movie theatre was incomplete.if we missed out on the news reel at the beginning and the national anthem at the end….

We have come a long way since my childhood days and the marketing mantra is  important to advertise the innumerable products .Ponds & Cuticura have also managed to survive the onslaught of talcum powders.Tooth powders were a craze too……The senior citizens and even my Chandru uncle sweared by the Bandhar chaap danth manjan.......though my mother still maintains that there can be no substitute for the faithful neem bark,the nut meg ,shikakai,milk cream, natural sandal,honey and perfumed turmeric to enhance ones beauty......

The train was just entering into Vijayawada station and I was fast asleep on the upper berth.As my father called out saying...."Nayaki...We are in the Vijaywada station.Would'nt you like to get down and grab some Kondapalli toys,my dear ? "...Sleepy faced but absolutely delighted ,I jumped down much to the amazement of the fellow passengers.......

GREEN CARD CANCELLED !

Anxiety gripped a worried Viji and a concerned aunt Sukanya as they waited for the boy's mother.Having finished off with the morning chores ,they confided in each other and were rehearsing a mock conversation,pondering on what to talk,what not to say and how to react to any statement not to their liking...Radha was pretty much amused....

At around 11AM ,the beaming grand short and stout woman made an entry.As she entered ,she was all smiles and handed over flowers and  a basket of fruits to Viji.Sukanya escorted her to the living room and offered her a glass of water.As they settled down, Chandru, Subbu and Radha were called in to join the conversation.

From the very outset she appeared to be  business like and forthright in expressing her views.Without wasting a single moment she got down to the main topic and began thus...

"We like your daughter and as we have already stated earlier,since my son has to leave for the USA we request you to make arrangements for the wedding as early as possible.As you know,my husband works as a part time accountant in several firms as and when jobs are available,We have come up the very hard way and all the three children are still pursuing their education.I wish to be frank with you.My son is pursuing higher studies in the USA without aid.He works part time for his sustenance.He is currently in the USA on a student visa and his education is being funded by a bank loan with a benevolent benefactor as a guarantor. The loan conditions also stipulate holding a designated fixed amount as bank balance for  the entire period of his education , as proof of being financially sound.Our financial status is not hidden from you and though we are against acceptance of dowry in any form,we expect the family of the girl to support him entirely."

Even before she could continue and elaborate on the sum required,and how he has been managing so far,interrupting her,Chandru chipped in and said in his usual authoritative tone.....Well ! If that be the case,I am sorry to say we are unable to proceed further.I understand that your son is meritorious and we wish him a very bright future.Well ! my advice would be,in the present scenario,instead of burdening him with additional responsibilities,it would be best in his interests to complete his studies,settle down and then get married.Since you also have a daughter in her final year of graduation you may wish to see her married too, in which case and and in all probability the onus of providing the wherewithal then, also rests on your son's shoulders.Your younger boy is still in school and as a duty bound son,your eldest son will also strive hard  to raise the standard of the family as a whole.My niece is very precious to me and though she has been brought up with values of compassion and service,it would be highly unfair on my part if I become the reason for transfer of your son's responsibilities on her young shoulders...

The woman was rendered speechless.She or for that matter the others present did not expect such a blunt and sudden retort from Chandru..

In a suddent twist to the tale,the uncle had emerged from being a matchmaker to becoming the matchbreaker.Heaving a sigh of relief and appreciating the mother for being so frank,he laughed heartily and said....MAMI...ENGALODA SAPPIDA UKARUNGO...SUKANYA THATTA PODU MA.....

As Chandru and family bid adieu to the woman for good, Viji had several questions in their mind.Was she really honest in her outpourings ? Was the family and the boy genuine ? Brushing aside the entire incident as a bad dream,Subbu set off for Calcutta with renewed hopes .radha was not aware of what the future held in store for her ........but radha, a couple of years later as a Shrimati was destined to bump into the Resident Mandaiveli Indian family yet again,  in 1989......

GREEN CARD - PART V !

The four parted ways and with a book in my hand ,I slipped away quietly into one of the balconies ,overlooking a well maintained lawn within the Income Tax/Central Excise/Customs Residential quarters campus on Nungambakkam high Road.

The Aaykar Bhavan complex on Nungambakkam high road houses the offices of Income Tax,Customs and the Central Excise.Uncle was serving in Chennai at that time and he was residing in a Type V government accomodation within the same campus.

Availing the time in hand and seizing the opportunity to meet his colleagues and friends at Aaykar Bhavan which was just a stone 's throw away,my father reached out to the hanger in the wardrobe, and pulled out the same shirt that he had worn the previous day.In order to avoid any further confrontation with my uncle,hurriedly buttoned up his shirt and as he stepped out of the house,called out to my mother just to inform her that he would be back home by lunch time.

In the meantime the aroma of the shallot sambhar and the Mysore rasam had managed to cool down an irate Chandru.As he was getting ready for work , the telephone bell rang ,he picked it up and spoke in his own inimitable style....

HYELLLLLO !!!!!! G O O DD !!!!!! M O R NN I N G!!!!!! ! THISSS  ISSSSS CHANDRAMOUUUUULEEEEE !!!!!

Please note that I have stressed on his accent and the punctuation for the pause , he takes ,between words while speaking .Like our own Vajpayee Jee ,he blinks,shuts his eyes,opens them ,perhaps thinks,rehearses in the mind and then speaks slow,loud and clear.

The voice at the other end must have replied in Thamizh.He was quick to respond...

NAMASSSSSKAAAAARAMS ! !!!!!!!!!!

SOLLLLLLLUNGGGGO !!!!!!!!!!YEPPO VARRRREL ?

A worried mother ,was uttering the name of the Lord in whispers in the adjacent puja room.Even as she recited the hymns, her ears were glued to the telephone conversation and she was well aware that it was the mother of the boy at the other end...

VANGO VANGO ! NANGO UNGALLAI AAVALUDDAN ETHIRPAARTHINDIRUUKKOM....(Please come .We are expecting you eagerly.)

Hearing this,my mother almost fainted,even as a determined aunt came to her rescue...saying..."Let the lady come.If she is coming alone as my dear husband  says,I am certain that there is more to this than meets the eye and your innocent brother- in- law, I am sad to say dear Manni, has not able to read her mind.".............

GREEN CARD...PART IV

As morning dawned, a sleepy faced mother ,pondering on what was still left in store in the alliance drama,was trying to come to terms with the present situation.My mother unlike her seemingly meek and docile appearance is a very strong woman.If anybody could confront my uncle ,it was only her.She can be equally adamant and stubborn, if she wishes and can penalise people around her with her silence . A strong willed lady,over the years ,she has earned the admiration and respect of my uncle in a way, that he holds her in high esteem today..

My uncle is a good facilitator,a great friend and above all  a supportive husband.He held high positions in the IRS and is a down to earth person.An early riser ,he would always lend a helping hand in the household chores also.He still loves to do the sweeping,mopping and the odd cleaning jobs. Chandru a firm believer, that work is worship and that hard work alone can earn rich dividends  , has never employed a household helper all his life.

It was breakfast time and as the daily practice,aunt placed the bread ,cheese,butter, jam and veggies ........onions ,tomatoes and cucumber on the dining table .Then uncle took over,helped himself to a sandwich and the rest of us followed suit.Each one of us was given the freedom to prepare our own breakfast and when done,a kindhearted Uncle did the entire cleaning...

A voracious reader ,he read three newspapers everyday.In between the innumerable phone calls that he would attend,in the morning hours, he would also cut vegetables and decide on the menu.Here, it was again that moment of the day ,when he would suddenly turn into an oppressive despot and all hands and legs would start working silently...

As he browsed the morning paper on that day,with a tone of authority, he informed us that the mother of the boy would be coming home in the afternoon.Still in a state of shock ,disbelief,and unable to think with a calm state of mind,the three.......my father, mother and aunt stood speechless.Unhappy with their reaction,and reiterating that although all aspects have to be taken into consideration ,while fixing a match , prima facie , education and character have to be taken into account first , and when one is convinced of the genuineness of both , the rest can be ignored..

However , my mother did not concur with his views entirely, expressed her opinion vehemently  like never before and emphasised on the need for a financially sound family background first and foremost .As we listened to her in rapt attention,I was in awe of my mother ,the others must have been impressed too.My uncle was yet to come down from his pedestal and in a moment of rage , a furious Chandru blew his top and the four were silenced......

GREEN CARD UNDER SCRUTINY -Part III

A highly reluctant and shaken mother,escorted by my father ,accompanied by my uncle and aunt left home at 6PM. My mother is by nature a very sentimental woman and she was extremely superstitious in those days.Over the years,she has changed considerably,and citing her grandchildren as reason for her transformation ,she has willingly compromised on some of her rigid beliefs and customs.A highly diplomatic woman,since her life now revolves around her grandchildren ,cleverly she has adapted herself to suit the needs of the fast and the texting new generation.From a strict mother she has evolved into an atrociously lenient grandmother who is bent on satisfying the young brats...

Nevertheless,since word had been given to the parents of the boy,my mother agreed to pay a visit to their home.That my mother was disinterested ,was clearly evident in her long drawn out face and unlike even normal days when she is usually prim and properly dressed,on that particular evening she presented a grim picture of herself....a trait she can slip into sometimes even today...

On the way they bought fruits,flowers ,sweets and other items including coconut and manjal kumkumam for the Vettrillai paaku as per the customary practice.Uncle was in no mood to relent to the mood of my mother and had admonished her for not being cheerful.Picking up courage to appear normal,she had accompanied them..

The family of the boy lived in Mandaiveli.Earlier in the day,my uncle had obtained the address and the directions from the boy's father and the travelling distance was only a few kms from Nungambakkam to Mandaiveli...

As they approached Mandaiveli ,the boy's father was waiting near a designated landmark on his two wheeler.The car followed him into the bylanes of Mandaiveli..Winding their way through small lanes and bylanes,enroute the market area in Mandaiveli,they reached the boy's house...

Already in a state of dissent and dissatisfaction,my mother's worst fears appeared to be coming true and the others including my uncle were in for a rude shock.The locality resembled a chawl and the family of five lived in a one room kitchen unit on the second floor.A narrow staircase lead the four to the second floor and as they walked along the dim lit corridor ,the scenes of open doors, men ,women and children loitering around ,hanging clothes,the common dirty passageways and the din was appaling...

The family was indeed coming up the hard way.Mr Ramani was a meritorious student and had passed out from the prestigious Anna University.That they did not hide their status was appreciable and yet disconcerting too.They were courteous and had offered sweets,snacks and coffee.After spending an hour or so,my parents returned home with a new story for me.

We grew up the hard way too.Dilapidated,yet ours was an independent flat at Kolkata .That was the story of the sixtys and the early seventys.By the late seventys we had moved into a comfortable and spacious accomodation .So adapting now to this kind of a habitat even temporarily was unthinkable..

As far as my parents and aunt were concerned,there was no point in moving further and the match had to be called off.On the other hand,shaken but firmly holding ground ,Chandru was trying hard to make the other three still see reason to continue.

The mother of the boy had offered to come again the next day and the bewildered foursome had no other option but to say YES....

The Green Card- Part II

Chandru was adamant.He would not tolerate the sobbing and the cribbing. He was highly impressed with the education credentials, the behaviour of the boy and that was it.The wails of a concerned mother fell on deaf ears.Brushing aside my mother's opinion as foolish maternal sentiments,he urged my father to proceed into the matter.

The Subbu family had a loving patriarch in Subbu and a stern Hitler in Chandru.Chandru was a man with a hard exterior but a tender interior.One has to live with him to comprehend his goodness.Contrary to the stern appearance and the rough behaviour that his personality exudes ,he is a man with a  heart.I have always wondered why he is always frowning and I am still searching for answers.

The octagenarian ,who retired as Director of Customs,is a self made man, an active bridge player even today and was a regular columnist in various newspapers till a few years back.He succumbed to love quite easily and Nayaki was the apple of his eye.He had aspirations and dreams for her just like a father and showered her with love and affection, albeit in his own strict distinct style..

The conflicts usually arose when somebody dared to defy him.He always had the welfare of the family in mind and took the major and minor decisions.In order to maintain decorum within the four walls and knowing that he was a true well wisher,all of us abided and obeyed him blindly without a slightest sigh or a complaint.Lest he opens the third eye,we acted in accordance to his wishes and tried our best not to give him any opportunity to lose his cool....

It was a similar situation on that fateful day in 1986.Fearing his rage,we kept mum.Mother and myself huddled up at night and also confided in each other.Mother was not happy.Call it the maternal instinct or the seventh sense,something did not augur well for her.She was forthright in expressing her displeasure in proceeding with the alliance and I could sense that she was feeling rather insecure..

My mother did not sleep a wink that night.Neither did I.I kept pondering over why I was not able to come to a conclusion.He was good mannered ,well educated and good looking.Yet ! something was also stopping me in expressing my like for the boy and the willingness to get married to him. Teary eyed my mother asked me ,"Do you know the story of 47 Natkal? "I nodded " Yes,I do Manni." That story haunts me she had told me that night.....Incidentally,let me tell you I address my parents as Anna and Manni

The next morning,Chandru was up,highly eager to go and meet the parents of the boy.He called up the father and informed him that the four of them ,my father,mother,uncle and aunt would like to meet him formally at their house at any time convenient for them...

The father of the boy readily agreed and I clearly remember it was a Sunday and my parents were invited to their place either before 4.30PM or after 6PM......

Radha & A Green Card Connection !

Hearing that the Doc alliance was not making headway,Thirupara mami sent another horoscope to Subbu. Subbu's transfer orders were awaited and the family was getting ready for the D Day to move out of Calcutta.

This particular boy had completed his engineering and was pursuing higher studies in Pennsylvania.The alliance was referred to my uncle Chandru who was in Chennai at that time.It was the year 1986.

Chandru was entrusted with the preliminary investigations.One day the parents of the boy met chittappa at his residence in Chennai.The boy was in India for a month and the parents were keen to get him married before he left.

Horoscopes and photographs were exchanged and matched in a hurry. The astrologers Nagarajan and Thirupurasundari were consulted.Having received the green signal to go ahead, Radha's father and uncle were very keen on proceeding. In the meantime, Radha's uncle also met the boy and he was highly impressed.

Then as far as he was concerned,the match was already made. He made an SOS call to his brother ,Radha's dad Subbu instructing him to send her at the earliest. Radhu was despatched by an Indian Airlines flight to Chennai the very next day.Arrangements for the boy and the girl to meet was done on a war footing..

We met .He came over to the uncle's home and spent half a day.Ramani was a six footer and very good looking.As the boy and the girl sat around the dining table,they exchanged pleasantries and Chittappa kept him engaged in intelligent conversation..

Radhu was not comfortable though.Chandru had made enquiries about him from his friends in the US.Common friends as references emerged in the midst of the conversation and chittappa was in a mood of jubiliation and celebration.She hardly spoke ...She was incredibly shy those days and terribly nervous too on that particular day..

Her limbs shivered,her voice quivered and her palms were sweaty.Radhu did try to put up a brave front but her face gave it away.Sensing that ,after he left,her aunt reprimanded her husband Chandru saying that he was being too hasty and creating unnecessary expectations for the boy's family,even before the girl and her parents had given consent..

Ramani's father called the uncle later in the day and informed him that they were willing to go ahead with the alliance and requested for a formal meet yet again between the two families..

Paying no heed to his wife's advice,Chandru immediately called up his brother and instructed him to come immediately.Subbu,Viji and Karthi flew to Chennai immediately.Air fares were exorbitant and Subbu would have shelled out half a lakh for an impending misadventure.

The date was fixed and the family arrived,father,mother,two sons including Ramani,and a daughter in tow...

Ramani was the eldest of the three.The proverbial saying that sojji bajji make matches was not followed on that day.Uncle had made special arrangements for the choicest kachoris ,samosas and Bengali sweets..

They spent a couple of hours with the girl's family.The conversation was very lively and they were very friendly,without giving away the slightest sign of being total strangers.The mother seemed to be dominating...that is what Viji sensed in the course of the conversation .Though they were very clear about not accepting dowry,they kept repeating that their son was incurring a lot expendirture abroad...

As they prepared to leave,they reiterated that they were willing to go ahead with the alliance..Ramani would leave in a month's time and if possible the bride could accompany him too

As soon as they left, Radhu's mother and aunt got going with the usual cleaning chores even as  the Father Subbu and uncle Chandru  continued with the conversation...Plans to fix a date for the wedding and choose a venue was on top of their agenda.Radha slipped away into a corner of the balcony with a story book in her hand.She was in a state of daze too...and the best part was nobody had even bothered to ask if she was marriage ready..

Lunch was delayed on that day and later during the day ,over lunch, the six of them were together again.Viji was too scared of her brother-in-law Chandru ,never crossed his path.They hardly spoke to each other...But on that day she spoke..

As she swallowed the first morsel of rice,her voice trembled and choked....Please I beg of you..Please do not proceed with this alliance.....But the adamant uncle was still determined.....

EXODUS !

It was the year 1986.I had completed my graduation and like most of the fresh graduates then,I was applying for Government and bank jobs.In the menwhile ,I had also joined an IAS Coaching Institute in Chennai.Dad was eager that I should join the civil services and I was keen too.Alas ! But ! That was not too happen.

Like all enthusiastic fathers keen on securing a stable future for their kids,It was him who did the running around .I just had to sign the application forms.He would carefully browse newspapers for advertisements of the upcoming competitive exams.I do the same now for my girls.

We had shifted to Chennai  just recently.Father  was posted as the Assistant Director of Investigation Having served for more than two and a half decades in the eastern region,this was his first stint in the south and for the first time in his career, he was all set to occupy a prestigious Government accomodation.Needless to say,mother,my brother and myself were thrilled.

The motive of the transfer  was clear.He was in search of a suitable groom for his daughter and the transfer at the opportune moment suited him fine.Most of our relatives were in Chennai and as he started applying for the exams,simultaneously, he was also in the process of exchanging horoscopes .

In the days when internet was unheard of and snail mail the order of the day,Subbu  would painstakingly write letters to the parents of prospective grooms .He would brief Nayaki on the suitors and ask her for her concurrence.She was too naïve or too obedient or too shy or whatever ,Nayaki  would say rather coyly…”Do as you please Anna.I know that you will find the best for me.”

Anna had choices clearly listed out and and it was 1) chartered accountant,2)civil services,3)banks ,in that order.When we received Doc’s horoscope,he was not too keen.Anyway as they say matches are made in heaven and the knot tied on earth.So it was destiny that brought us together and I am truly thankful for that.It was a distant relative who had suggested this alliance.Thripura mami was a very learned woman and an astrologer too.She happened to be Nayaki’s newly wedded cousin’s grand mother-in-law.

The horoscope of a budding ophthalmologist was sent to my father Subbu in 1985 when we were still in Kolkata. Subbu’s chittappa…Nagarajan chittappa was the family astrologer and he had approved of the match.The matching of the horoscopes was conveyed to the boy’s family .Nayaki’s recent photograph was forwarded along with the letter.

Doc’s father T.R.Mahalingam alias Ambi was slow to respond.We were still in Calcutta and more than three months had lapsed since my father had sent the letter to Ambi.I think he sent a reminder also to 1& 2 TPS Nagar,Medical College Road Thanjavur .

A few days later we received Ambi’s letter.”Dear Sir ! Much though we are interested in pursuing this alliance and taking it further,we are unable to proceed.We wish your daughter a happy future.”The photograph was also returned.

In the meantime we had begun to pack bag and baggage.The containers had arrived and with a  heavy heart we were preparing ourselves to leave Calcutta for good.Our association with the city of joy was coming to an end….As I had a glimpse of the Bhagirathi Hooghly from the Howrah Bridge,Nayaki was unaware of the flow of where she was headed to.With tears and dreams in her eyes Nayaki occupied the top berth of the Ist class coupe of Coramandel Express…and the train chugged slowly away from the station…..