WHEN NARCISSISM SHOWED THE WAY TO ALTRUISM !

When my FB timeline is flooded with vacation pictures and videos of the breathtaking hills and dales, valleys and highlands, lakes and waterfalls,  icy alps and the tulip gardens, waterfalls and the urban squares,deep gorges and canyons, cuisine from different parts of the world, I look at them, one by one and I pause...

My friends are on a holiday and I utter the golden words...

" Lokam Samsthaha Sukhino Bhavanthu."

Now, I rarely hit the like nor do i comment. Hurriedly, I log out....

Well ! Time is precious.....

I enjoy beauty, either real or in pictures and cherish nature that is so overwhelming. I admire nature and I thank the internet which takes me on virtual yet real locales. But there is nothing like being alive in the midst of nature as Julia Andrews would sing....The hills are alive with the sound of music and a Salzburg getaway is indeed an experience of a lifetime... I am happy for my friends and loved ones..I am at peace....

Why am I saying all this ? 

When I was new to FB, I was very excited as each one here who got together on this wall only to reconnect. It was a dream come true and childhood was revisited. School friends got in touch and were genuinely happy for one another. In the beginning, everyone started sharing info about themselves, albeit in excitement as one does when one meets a dear friend after many years. Rip Van Winklys had awakened from deep slumber and unmindful of the intervening years of separation, were united again. Friendship mattered and nothing else...

The intervening gap was not a decade or even two. Friends were meeting after three decades. A major part of their life span having been devoted to family, work and raising children, the 60s and 70s born emerged on this wall as mature individuals with á rich repertoire of experience. Having gone through highs and lows of life, here they were  at a stage to announce their accomplishments and social media readily provided them with the platform. All of a sudden, life was so interesting. It was a story of commoners in the midst of celebrities getting a taste of sudden fame. Well ! Total credit to FB for making all this happen. In the eagerness to know one another, posts and comments were liked, narcissism reared its ugly head and dopamine had its desired effect.

As they say, a new broom sweeps clean and this just applied to FB as well. Orkut had its limitations when FB was preferred but slowly boredom started creeping into this wall as well, Personal lives of ordinary people and achievements were no longer interesting, the reason being that jealousy had reared its ugly head too. The likes and praises kept coming but became insincere. The love, wow, and sad emojis seemed more relevant when people started using them judiciously, as if trying to show that the reaction is indeed genuine, certainly influenced by and wary of the online world where wishes and comments were increasingly seen as fake and not truly heartfelt. " Like " no longer meant the word in the dictionary....

All these observations and more based on personal interactions where friends gossipped about one another offline and praised them online were bitter experiences. I am sure all would have encountered such experiences at some point. That was when friends decided to part ways and restricted themselves to groups on Whatsapp which alas ! was no better. The damage was done and sub tiny groups were formed. Good friends who vibed well, sharing the same wavelength, respecting one another, without judging each other, accepting one another as they were, stuck together. They picked up conversations from where they left whenever they met. But it was no longer on a daily basis. Social media created the much needed rifts in strained friendships and helped in identifying the truest of true friends, which was ultimately good in a way. 

There still exist best of friends who are genuinely happy for one another and many who continue to share the pictures and happiness online. But, " like " holds no meaning at all and so now, I rarely like posts and pictures. Due to constraints of time, when I don't go through the post, I will not hit a like as many would do. I stopped loving and wowing when it seemed flattery to others. Friends told me that I was trying to flatter. Though I had no reasons to flatter. Who knows me better than me ? But I am glad they told me. They did me a favour. I was forced to change myself. I am still good. I never pretend, I wish well and praise sincerely. I just don't record on the wall anymore. Hypocrites hit the " like " and " showoff " ......I was told.....Sad, but I had no option but to agree. Hurt and disappointed, I had learnt a lesson....

There are options for unfollowing and turning off notifications on FB. Now, I prefer to do that and though I have only real friends on my list, I have selectively opted to follow only a very few. I wish well for all. Not all are fake I tried to explain. 

FB has options in the settings that allow you to change setting options  everytime you post. So you could post to a small group of acquaintances, friends or public. So adjust your settings each time you post. Well ! Nobody sees the hard life and the challenges everyone faces offline, on a daily basis. They see only the merrymaking pictures online, jealous and complain about the difficult life they lead. These are the negative traits that social media has created in good minds as well. You cant blame the individuals. Its the bane of the era we live in where fake posts are believed and the real perceived as trying to show off . The world is made of different kinds of people, fighting different battles. Empathy is the only way to deal with such negativity. I have learnt that being genuine can be perceived as being narcissist and so I now try to portray myself as altruistic, while, in reality I have always been one.....

What a paradox !

I make it a point to go through all the original and thought provoking posts and pictures posted my creative friends whom i have chosen to follow, including some very touching posts by young hard working doctors who are my friends. I thank FB for that. I wish to comment, love, like, wow or feel sad but i restrain myself from doing so....Now you know why.....

A TALE OF PEAS OF DIFFERENT PODS AND THE GOLDEN CARROTS !

Have you ever noticed that while being engaged in a close conversation or observing a game, a slightly bent, engrossed SriniMama, entwines his fingers and keeps his hands clasped behind on his lower back, whereas an upright MSD, all eyes on perfecting the skills of his teammates, folds his arms close to his chest.

I have noticed some traits in MSD & SriniMama which stand out, including some common facial mannerisms of showing concern, yet staying calm under pressure being the most obvious one, as we all know. Apart from these observations, I also think that those born under the Cancer and Capricorn sun signs get along like peas and carrots. 

July born MSD's sunsign is Cancer and January born SriniMama is ruled by Capricorn. I am sure Gajar Ka Halwa and Matar Kachori must be a favourite of both. Can anybody close to either of the two confirm this, so that, I can start writing a book on celebrities, their sun signs and famous relationships based on first hand authentic info. I promise to give due credits wherever necessary and a share of royalty when earned .

I could title this particular article on MSD & SriniMama as " Why SriniMama loves the Thenga Manga Carrot Pattani Sundal " or " Why the world is crazy over Mahi's time tested and the most popular recipe of the " Peas Carrot Paratha " 

Do any of you know whether SriniMama consulted an astrologer to help him in choosing his lucky mascot ? Sorry to sound inquisitive....But I have so many related queries in my mind right now..

This reminds me of an anecdote about the mischievous side of MSD. Once, while staying at the Kharaghpur railway quarters, when he was working as a Ticket Examiner, Dhoni and his friends covered themselves in white bedsheets and walked around the railway quarters complex masquerading as ghosts, scaring the night guards on duty only to ensure that there was not a single sleeping night watchman anywhere in the vicinity. Dhoni is an all rounder. I know that he has bowled and kept wickets in the same match. Does he hold any record coming in to bat up in the order as a night watchman ?  Do let me know .

Mahi's climb has been phenomenal. His life story is inspirational. It is the story of the lad next door who became a celebrity out of his sheer will and determination. Somewhere in his journey, the lad next door outgrew the Ranchi neighbourhood, carved a niche for himself internationally before becoming Chennai's Super King. So is SriniMama...The King of an empire .

Small things measure for success. India Cements was founded in the year 1946. What's in a name they say. " Everything " I would say. Probably that explains why the company was named as "India Cements". We, Indians believe in nurturing and treasuring good relationships. Once a good relationship is formed, it is "Cemented" for life.......

A MAMA REMEMBERS !

Instead of trying to figure out why climates are changing much to my irritation, why Chennai is not experiencing unseasonal stormy showers, why the summer here is scorching hot, why traffic diversions is the order of the day, I will try to get a smile makeover done right now. Kinda like a joker who hides his sad emotions behind the painted happy face.

Jokes apart, that was indeed a joke. Notwithstanding the inconveniences, it is true that I do not like to complain and my motto is to stay happy come what may..

On that note, here’s my happy post for the day. Let me get drenched in memory showers atleast. 

The life of a happy go lucky non medico married to a medico is not easy at all. Being the mother of two doctors is harder and as the three converse in medico lingo all mumbo jumbo to me, I try hard not to feel left out and instead I look at them with awe and admiration. In the course of any conversation the little that I can gather is usually about an admission, case sheets, procedures, diagnosis and discharges. These words appear in the English dictionary and perhaps that is why I am familiar with the terms. I am happier blogging, drawing and cooking. Well ! My Docs can make their own tea. Phew ! that's some relief for a multitasking non medico mom who knows more about how to go about getting into MBBS and a PG residency much more than they do...

When my younger girl, now a budding paediatric resident, was in Std I, she used to have great difficulty with spellings. That was an exercise I use to give her everyday till she mastered it. She almost gave up one day and said…Ma…This is too difficult. Not my cup of tea at all. Allow me to be detained in Ist Std. I promise you that I will get over this problem when I repeat another year in Std I. My little girl was quick to grasp and had a way with words. "Must be in the genes," I mused. I couldn't but feel proud, though I was absolutely flabberghasted as well. That was a five year old telling me about her inability to progress and also giving a solution. I still remember that day sometime in 1995. I was too stunned to react. My little girl was more mature than me....I thought....