GREEN CARD...PART IV

As morning dawned, a sleepy faced mother ,pondering on what was still left in store in the alliance drama,was trying to come to terms with the present situation.My mother unlike her seemingly meek and docile appearance is a very strong woman.If anybody could confront my uncle ,it was only her.She can be equally adamant and stubborn, if she wishes and can penalise people around her with her silence . A strong willed lady,over the years ,she has earned the admiration and respect of my uncle in a way, that he holds her in high esteem today..

My uncle is a good facilitator,a great friend and above all  a supportive husband.He held high positions in the IRS and is a down to earth person.An early riser ,he would always lend a helping hand in the household chores also.He still loves to do the sweeping,mopping and the odd cleaning jobs. Chandru a firm believer, that work is worship and that hard work alone can earn rich dividends  , has never employed a household helper all his life.

It was breakfast time and as the daily practice,aunt placed the bread ,cheese,butter, jam and veggies ........onions ,tomatoes and cucumber on the dining table .Then uncle took over,helped himself to a sandwich and the rest of us followed suit.Each one of us was given the freedom to prepare our own breakfast and when done,a kindhearted Uncle did the entire cleaning...

A voracious reader ,he read three newspapers everyday.In between the innumerable phone calls that he would attend,in the morning hours, he would also cut vegetables and decide on the menu.Here, it was again that moment of the day ,when he would suddenly turn into an oppressive despot and all hands and legs would start working silently...

As he browsed the morning paper on that day,with a tone of authority, he informed us that the mother of the boy would be coming home in the afternoon.Still in a state of shock ,disbelief,and unable to think with a calm state of mind,the three.......my father, mother and aunt stood speechless.Unhappy with their reaction,and reiterating that although all aspects have to be taken into consideration ,while fixing a match , prima facie , education and character have to be taken into account first , and when one is convinced of the genuineness of both , the rest can be ignored..

However , my mother did not concur with his views entirely, expressed her opinion vehemently  like never before and emphasised on the need for a financially sound family background first and foremost .As we listened to her in rapt attention,I was in awe of my mother ,the others must have been impressed too.My uncle was yet to come down from his pedestal and in a moment of rage , a furious Chandru blew his top and the four were silenced......

GREEN CARD UNDER SCRUTINY -Part III

A highly reluctant and shaken mother,escorted by my father ,accompanied by my uncle and aunt left home at 6PM. My mother is by nature a very sentimental woman and she was extremely superstitious in those days.Over the years,she has changed considerably,and citing her grandchildren as reason for her transformation ,she has willingly compromised on some of her rigid beliefs and customs.A highly diplomatic woman,since her life now revolves around her grandchildren ,cleverly she has adapted herself to suit the needs of the fast and the texting new generation.From a strict mother she has evolved into an atrociously lenient grandmother who is bent on satisfying the young brats...

Nevertheless,since word had been given to the parents of the boy,my mother agreed to pay a visit to their home.That my mother was disinterested ,was clearly evident in her long drawn out face and unlike even normal days when she is usually prim and properly dressed,on that particular evening she presented a grim picture of herself....a trait she can slip into sometimes even today...

On the way they bought fruits,flowers ,sweets and other items including coconut and manjal kumkumam for the Vettrillai paaku as per the customary practice.Uncle was in no mood to relent to the mood of my mother and had admonished her for not being cheerful.Picking up courage to appear normal,she had accompanied them..

The family of the boy lived in Mandaiveli.Earlier in the day,my uncle had obtained the address and the directions from the boy's father and the travelling distance was only a few kms from Nungambakkam to Mandaiveli...

As they approached Mandaiveli ,the boy's father was waiting near a designated landmark on his two wheeler.The car followed him into the bylanes of Mandaiveli..Winding their way through small lanes and bylanes,enroute the market area in Mandaiveli,they reached the boy's house...

Already in a state of dissent and dissatisfaction,my mother's worst fears appeared to be coming true and the others including my uncle were in for a rude shock.The locality resembled a chawl and the family of five lived in a one room kitchen unit on the second floor.A narrow staircase lead the four to the second floor and as they walked along the dim lit corridor ,the scenes of open doors, men ,women and children loitering around ,hanging clothes,the common dirty passageways and the din was appaling...

The family was indeed coming up the hard way.Mr Ramani was a meritorious student and had passed out from the prestigious Anna University.That they did not hide their status was appreciable and yet disconcerting too.They were courteous and had offered sweets,snacks and coffee.After spending an hour or so,my parents returned home with a new story for me.

We grew up the hard way too.Dilapidated,yet ours was an independent flat at Kolkata .That was the story of the sixtys and the early seventys.By the late seventys we had moved into a comfortable and spacious accomodation .So adapting now to this kind of a habitat even temporarily was unthinkable..

As far as my parents and aunt were concerned,there was no point in moving further and the match had to be called off.On the other hand,shaken but firmly holding ground ,Chandru was trying hard to make the other three still see reason to continue.

The mother of the boy had offered to come again the next day and the bewildered foursome had no other option but to say YES....

The Green Card- Part II

Chandru was adamant.He would not tolerate the sobbing and the cribbing. He was highly impressed with the education credentials, the behaviour of the boy and that was it.The wails of a concerned mother fell on deaf ears.Brushing aside my mother's opinion as foolish maternal sentiments,he urged my father to proceed into the matter.

The Subbu family had a loving patriarch in Subbu and a stern Hitler in Chandru.Chandru was a man with a hard exterior but a tender interior.One has to live with him to comprehend his goodness.Contrary to the stern appearance and the rough behaviour that his personality exudes ,he is a man with a  heart.I have always wondered why he is always frowning and I am still searching for answers.

The octagenarian ,who retired as Director of Customs,is a self made man, an active bridge player even today and was a regular columnist in various newspapers till a few years back.He succumbed to love quite easily and Nayaki was the apple of his eye.He had aspirations and dreams for her just like a father and showered her with love and affection, albeit in his own strict distinct style..

The conflicts usually arose when somebody dared to defy him.He always had the welfare of the family in mind and took the major and minor decisions.In order to maintain decorum within the four walls and knowing that he was a true well wisher,all of us abided and obeyed him blindly without a slightest sigh or a complaint.Lest he opens the third eye,we acted in accordance to his wishes and tried our best not to give him any opportunity to lose his cool....

It was a similar situation on that fateful day in 1986.Fearing his rage,we kept mum.Mother and myself huddled up at night and also confided in each other.Mother was not happy.Call it the maternal instinct or the seventh sense,something did not augur well for her.She was forthright in expressing her displeasure in proceeding with the alliance and I could sense that she was feeling rather insecure..

My mother did not sleep a wink that night.Neither did I.I kept pondering over why I was not able to come to a conclusion.He was good mannered ,well educated and good looking.Yet ! something was also stopping me in expressing my like for the boy and the willingness to get married to him. Teary eyed my mother asked me ,"Do you know the story of 47 Natkal? "I nodded " Yes,I do Manni." That story haunts me she had told me that night.....Incidentally,let me tell you I address my parents as Anna and Manni

The next morning,Chandru was up,highly eager to go and meet the parents of the boy.He called up the father and informed him that the four of them ,my father,mother,uncle and aunt would like to meet him formally at their house at any time convenient for them...

The father of the boy readily agreed and I clearly remember it was a Sunday and my parents were invited to their place either before 4.30PM or after 6PM......

Radha & A Green Card Connection !

Hearing that the Doc alliance was not making headway,Thirupara mami sent another horoscope to Subbu. Subbu's transfer orders were awaited and the family was getting ready for the D Day to move out of Calcutta.

This particular boy had completed his engineering and was pursuing higher studies in Pennsylvania.The alliance was referred to my uncle Chandru who was in Chennai at that time.It was the year 1986.

Chandru was entrusted with the preliminary investigations.One day the parents of the boy met chittappa at his residence in Chennai.The boy was in India for a month and the parents were keen to get him married before he left.

Horoscopes and photographs were exchanged and matched in a hurry. The astrologers Nagarajan and Thirupurasundari were consulted.Having received the green signal to go ahead, Radha's father and uncle were very keen on proceeding. In the meantime, Radha's uncle also met the boy and he was highly impressed.

Then as far as he was concerned,the match was already made. He made an SOS call to his brother ,Radha's dad Subbu instructing him to send her at the earliest. Radhu was despatched by an Indian Airlines flight to Chennai the very next day.Arrangements for the boy and the girl to meet was done on a war footing..

We met .He came over to the uncle's home and spent half a day.Ramani was a six footer and very good looking.As the boy and the girl sat around the dining table,they exchanged pleasantries and Chittappa kept him engaged in intelligent conversation..

Radhu was not comfortable though.Chandru had made enquiries about him from his friends in the US.Common friends as references emerged in the midst of the conversation and chittappa was in a mood of jubiliation and celebration.She hardly spoke ...She was incredibly shy those days and terribly nervous too on that particular day..

Her limbs shivered,her voice quivered and her palms were sweaty.Radhu did try to put up a brave front but her face gave it away.Sensing that ,after he left,her aunt reprimanded her husband Chandru saying that he was being too hasty and creating unnecessary expectations for the boy's family,even before the girl and her parents had given consent..

Ramani's father called the uncle later in the day and informed him that they were willing to go ahead with the alliance and requested for a formal meet yet again between the two families..

Paying no heed to his wife's advice,Chandru immediately called up his brother and instructed him to come immediately.Subbu,Viji and Karthi flew to Chennai immediately.Air fares were exorbitant and Subbu would have shelled out half a lakh for an impending misadventure.

The date was fixed and the family arrived,father,mother,two sons including Ramani,and a daughter in tow...

Ramani was the eldest of the three.The proverbial saying that sojji bajji make matches was not followed on that day.Uncle had made special arrangements for the choicest kachoris ,samosas and Bengali sweets..

They spent a couple of hours with the girl's family.The conversation was very lively and they were very friendly,without giving away the slightest sign of being total strangers.The mother seemed to be dominating...that is what Viji sensed in the course of the conversation .Though they were very clear about not accepting dowry,they kept repeating that their son was incurring a lot expendirture abroad...

As they prepared to leave,they reiterated that they were willing to go ahead with the alliance..Ramani would leave in a month's time and if possible the bride could accompany him too

As soon as they left, Radhu's mother and aunt got going with the usual cleaning chores even as  the Father Subbu and uncle Chandru  continued with the conversation...Plans to fix a date for the wedding and choose a venue was on top of their agenda.Radha slipped away into a corner of the balcony with a story book in her hand.She was in a state of daze too...and the best part was nobody had even bothered to ask if she was marriage ready..

Lunch was delayed on that day and later during the day ,over lunch, the six of them were together again.Viji was too scared of her brother-in-law Chandru ,never crossed his path.They hardly spoke to each other...But on that day she spoke..

As she swallowed the first morsel of rice,her voice trembled and choked....Please I beg of you..Please do not proceed with this alliance.....But the adamant uncle was still determined.....