When my FB timeline is flooded with vacation pictures and videos of the breathtaking hills and dales, valleys and highlands, lakes and waterfalls, icy alps and the tulip gardens, waterfalls and the urban squares,deep gorges and canyons, cuisine from different parts of the world, I look at them, one by one and I pause...
My friends are on a holiday and I utter the golden words...
" Lokam Samsthaha Sukhino Bhavanthu."
Now, I rarely hit the like nor do i comment. Hurriedly, I log out....
Well ! Time is precious.....
I enjoy beauty, either real or in pictures and cherish nature that is so overwhelming. I admire nature and I thank the internet which takes me on virtual yet real locales. But there is nothing like being alive in the midst of nature as Julia Andrews would sing....The hills are alive with the sound of music and a Salzburg getaway is indeed an experience of a lifetime... I am happy for my friends and loved ones..I am at peace....
Why am I saying all this ?
When I was new to FB, I was very excited as each one here who got together on this wall only to reconnect. It was a dream come true and childhood was revisited. School friends got in touch and were genuinely happy for one another. In the beginning, everyone started sharing info about themselves, albeit in excitement as one does when one meets a dear friend after many years. Rip Van Winklys had awakened from deep slumber and unmindful of the intervening years of separation, were united again. Friendship mattered and nothing else...
The intervening gap was not a decade or even two. Friends were meeting after three decades. A major part of their life span having been devoted to family, work and raising children, the 60s and 70s born emerged on this wall as mature individuals with รก rich repertoire of experience. Having gone through highs and lows of life, here they were at a stage to announce their accomplishments and social media readily provided them with the platform. All of a sudden, life was so interesting. It was a story of commoners in the midst of celebrities getting a taste of sudden fame. Well ! Total credit to FB for making all this happen. In the eagerness to know one another, posts and comments were liked, narcissism reared its ugly head and dopamine had its desired effect.
As they say, a new broom sweeps clean and this just applied to FB as well. Orkut had its limitations when FB was preferred but slowly boredom started creeping into this wall as well, Personal lives of ordinary people and achievements were no longer interesting, the reason being that jealousy had reared its ugly head too. The likes and praises kept coming but became insincere. The love, wow, and sad emojis seemed more relevant when people started using them judiciously, as if trying to show that the reaction is indeed genuine, certainly influenced by and wary of the online world where wishes and comments were increasingly seen as fake and not truly heartfelt. " Like " no longer meant the word in the dictionary....
All these observations and more based on personal interactions where friends gossipped about one another offline and praised them online were bitter experiences. I am sure all would have encountered such experiences at some point. That was when friends decided to part ways and restricted themselves to groups on Whatsapp which alas ! was no better. The damage was done and sub tiny groups were formed. Good friends who vibed well, sharing the same wavelength, respecting one another, without judging each other, accepting one another as they were, stuck together. They picked up conversations from where they left whenever they met. But it was no longer on a daily basis. Social media created the much needed rifts in strained friendships and helped in identifying the truest of true friends, which was ultimately good in a way.
There still exist best of friends who are genuinely happy for one another and many who continue to share the pictures and happiness online. But, " like " holds no meaning at all and so now, I rarely like posts and pictures. Due to constraints of time, when I don't go through the post, I will not hit a like as many would do. I stopped loving and wowing when it seemed flattery to others. Friends told me that I was trying to flatter. Though I had no reasons to flatter. Who knows me better than me ? But I am glad they told me. They did me a favour. I was forced to change myself. I am still good. I never pretend, I wish well and praise sincerely. I just don't record on the wall anymore. Hypocrites hit the " like " and " showoff " ......I was told.....Sad, but I had no option but to agree. Hurt and disappointed, I had learnt a lesson....
There are options for unfollowing and turning off notifications on FB. Now, I prefer to do that and though I have only real friends on my list, I have selectively opted to follow only a very few. I wish well for all. Not all are fake I tried to explain.
FB has options in the settings that allow you to change setting options everytime you post. So you could post to a small group of acquaintances, friends or public. So adjust your settings each time you post. Well ! Nobody sees the hard life and the challenges everyone faces offline, on a daily basis. They see only the merrymaking pictures online, jealous and complain about the difficult life they lead. These are the negative traits that social media has created in good minds as well. You cant blame the individuals. Its the bane of the era we live in where fake posts are believed and the real perceived as trying to show off . The world is made of different kinds of people, fighting different battles. Empathy is the only way to deal with such negativity. I have learnt that being genuine can be perceived as being narcissist and so I now try to portray myself as altruistic, while, in reality I have always been one.....
What a paradox !
What a paradox !
I make it a point to go through all the original and thought provoking posts and pictures posted my creative friends whom i have chosen to follow, including some very touching posts by young hard working doctors who are my friends. I thank FB for that. I wish to comment, love, like, wow or feel sad but i restrain myself from doing so....Now you know why.....
