Damp Wicks and Sour Oranges !

I have to write something and pour my heart out.Friends are family and who else but family to lend a ear to all that I have to say.

So on that note ,without much ado, let me begin.Time and again ,I keep reiterating that, the social media has it's side effects , both good and bad.Take the good ,stay focussed on your requirements and move on.

Again the world is a stage,life is a drama where each one of us has a different role to play. During the course of the play we keep learning , we make mistakes and we learn from some of the mistakes,rectify them,some we repeat,some we simply ignore...

Each act of ours comes with a caution notice,which at times we tend to overlook due to over confidence.Each one of us is adept at some work or the other and prone to fail in some.

Take the example of water that can quench our thirst .If we are aware that it is hot ,we will be careful .If we are not aware,the result would be a burnt tongue.So before you try to drink water straight from the Hot & Cold stainless steel thermos jar,think twice.Here ,this may also be termed as carelessness.I would like to look at it another way.Never take anything for granted ,however sure you may be.Chances are that you may be wrong.So take one step at a time,tread carefully and look before you leap.

It is a Saturday today,a day I love because the next day is a Sunday.I bet you would have read this ,close to a zillion times now ,ever since FaceBook went viral.The days of the week have never ever been more meaningful than now.

Anyway,the purpose of the post is also to tell you all that ,weekend domestic chores do take up a lot of my precious time.In the middle of all this,in order to stay motivated , I experiment,sometimes to the utter amazement of my loved ones and sometimes to their dismay..

A few days back,if memory serves me right and since public memory is short,I would like to bring to your notice once again that I had posted the photograph of a Santhra Peel Diya. Here I have to proclaim proudly that on that day, the lamp was burning for nearly twelve hours.Needless to say ,ever since that day,I am overjoyed at the very sight of the orange fruit.

A friend visited us yesterday.She brought with her a dozen oranges and handed over the cover to me.I was delighted .With dreams of the choicest luscious oranges,sparkling oil lamps and the fragrance of citrus ,I went to sleep.

I woke up with much enthusiasm.This is where staying motivated and inspired helps.Go to bed with happy thoughts.Keep looking out for possible acts and small things that give you happiness.Try to be close to them as much as possible.

With much glee ,I peeled the orange.While peeling,I experienced difficulty.It was not as simple as in the previous one.The peel was stuck to the fruit and for every prick,I was damaging the fruit inside.Nevertheless I had begun and I was in no mood to let go.I managed to get the two halves in proper shape along with the natural fibre in the centre that serves as the wick…

The woes had just begun.I lighted the first match stick,then the second ,then one after another and I tried to light the wick.My efforts were in vain and in a few minutes a new match box had been depleted of all its sticks.I was still hopeful.The wick stood firm ground and even as baffled family members looked on,I kept on trying.I did not wish to waste any more match sticks.So I tried with a candle but my efforts went futile.I tried with a cotton wick dipped in oil.I failed…

Could I be responsible for the failure ? I pondered.

"Ofcourse not,"said my inner voice."Find the cause and make it accountable for the failure," she added.

"You had a pleasant previous experience just a few days back my dear,"she whispered.

"Oh ! Yes ! I cannot be wrong."I was still confident…

But by now,I was also almost in a state of despair.The floor of my puja room was strewn with burnt matchsticks and smeared with patches of oil.In a moment of hopelessness,I gave up.I poured the oil from the orange into the normal daily lamp,cleaned the floor and resumed my duties..

But then ,I had to find out the reason for the failure.It seemed so damn simple the other day.This is why I keep saying that , in order to learn , in tune with the times we live in ,it becomes mandatory to log on to FB,use it as a learning tool,disable some notifications,as they recommend in Feng shui,keep the wall free of clutter,let FB know what you like based on your searches,allow FB to indicate your preferences, choose the pages ,learn from them ,try them out,make mistakes, accept moral responsibility and rectify the mistake.........or , alternatively google,learn from tutorials,make mistakes and learn from the mistakes by identifying the cause. 

Most important,if you really have a desire ,give your heart and soul to it and do not lose hope.What you love is divine.What you love to do is worship.

In the context of success and failures,hopes and disappointments,I think it would be apt to explain with an example, how the character of the orange here has a major role to play,how it 's intrinsic character can influence the outcome and how the series of observations I make in the process can cause to have a lasting impression on my mind.

Hence my earlier observation about the world being a stage ,each individual being unique and drama being the basic philosophy behind life becoming relevant here.One orange was a true hero a few days back.Stoically he had stood with the spark burning bright for nearly 12 hours.Today's orange was different ,unique,but was not suitable for the role as far as execution of my interest was concerned.It's as simple as that…Naive that I am ,how was I to know ?..Hence the advice,do not take anything for granted.

The orange that played the role of the hero a few days back was suave,handsome dressed in a loose orange coloured jacket.He was quite flexible.The orange today was good looking too,firm and strong .Attired in a thick, skin fitting, orange coloured jacket, he appeared to be unyielding though .But didn't I say looks are deceptive ? 

He looked much stronger but he did not live upto the expectation of the gracious hero I admired.He was neither chivalrous nor magnanimous enough to take on the heat of a tiny spark …….

LEAD BY EXAMPLE & CATCH ' EM YOUNG

Just because I happen to be a favourite does not give me the right to brag .Right ! I agree whole heartedly.I keep reiterating this so that each one of you may understand that when I write,I speak my mind.My capabilities are highly limited ,restricted to a few activities within the confines of a home ,an office or any other comfort zone wherein I can adapt and be myself.

Here I would like to stress upon , a subtle difference that differentiates me from the rest,all of whom are more experienced,multifaceted ,highly talented,very humble ,who either do not write or exhibit their talent.My salutes to them.

My tryst with the keyboard began a few years back when I also realised that though I had the potential to be a leader ,I  preferred to stay in the background.I am still very much the same.I am at home taking orders and implementing them to the best of my ability.

If I cut veggies, I have a selfish interest.I like to slice,cut,shred and chop.The sight of the vegetable cart is enough to be send me into a frenzy.It is a joy to simply sit on the floor ,keep a bowl of water ,listen to music ,segregate the vegetables and go chop chop chop on the chopping board with a sense of achievement.It is a pleasure to shell the peas,pop in a few into the mouth,grate the carrots,cucumber and tomatoes for the salad and chew the fragmented ends.

So by the time the mami has arrived,I have created a beautiful working atmosphere for her.These are the small things that matter a lot and small tasks that each one of is doing...not just me.

In the absence of the mami,I take a small break,write to rewind and hey presto ! I have donned a new garb...

Now I hope you can understand the difference.I speak about the Aam Aadmi and his daily contribution ,I speak for the sake of others, I speak on behalf of that community at large,on behalf of the unsung men and women,who prefer to remain in the background ,selflessly silent,whose service is unseen and unheard.

This was an intro if you may like to call it so.The intention of the post is to highlight the qualities of a good leader.

Each one of us is a leader at sometime or the other ,somewhere.The responsibilities change according to the circumstances..

It could be home,workplace,any comfort zone,where over a period of time as we assume responsibilities we become leaders.It is as simple as that.

A leader is one who takes on responsibilities not because he is compelled to,not because he is paid for being so,but because he likes to be accountable.That is the sure sign of a good leader.

He needs people around to help him.They are not his subordinates.They are also leaders.By delegating duties to each one of them,the person at the helm is initiating,making them accountable and helping them to lead.Hence the saying..Lead by example and catch them young..

So  as one takes on willing responsibility because it is in his interests to love,care or serve,expect help to which he is entitled,refuse assistance in order to create awareness of accountability,he is in fact , creating new leaders,who at some time of their lives are going to emulate his practices,adapt themselves with the changing times and again lead by example..This is how leadership works..

A good leader begins work at the ground level.He takes responsibility for the basic foundation of any work , is involved continuously in the work,monitors the progress and because he foresees the favourable change,he is absolutely confident that the goals can be reached.Such a person is not afraid to speak out when the intentions are good.Any new change proposed is bound to face stiff opposition and a good leader knows that too well.

Undeterred by brickbats or any protests he will carry on unfazed because he is absolutely certain of the exciting and good prospects ahead....

Huh ! Now he must be having hicupps !

Mind you ! I dream.....even in the midst of an afternoon siesta....

An age old therapy I stress upon now and then,is to relive the past in the form of anecdotes,to dwell in the present in useful activity and then put them down in black and white.The therapeutic benefits of writing are immense , where all that one has to do is , to jog those grey cells to get the fingers moving .Writing is an activity akin to meditation.It elevates one to a state of supreme bliss.It takes only a word to get started,and you will be surprised that words spring up from nowhere ,that a story has already taken shape and you have nearly reached euphoria.

A little master had declared .What's that if you may ask ? It was a sporting event,the gentleman's game,a few decades back that many of us would have seen with our eyes wide open live on the ground,or followed the game ball to ball with a transistor glued to our ears.The little master had declared the innings.The opening pair was playing in copybook style and the openers complemented each other ,block with block.Cursed and under the influence of an evil omen perhaps,the gentleman Chetan Chauhan  stood as a rock,even as his partner slowly inched towards the century mark ...Alas ! the three digit magic figure eluded Chauhan quite often and who can forget the euphoria live,the hot tea in the mud cups ,the cuppa that accidentally slipped out of my hand and fell on the back of an excited spectatator.

I still remember his wails ,though he did not raise any alarm.He did not call in the police.He was writhing in pain , he removed his shirt and showed the scalded bruises to every body around.The excitement of  watching the game and maintaining the tempo of the cheers /screams was more important.Poor fellow...Very soon he had also forgotten about the mishap and the frenzied ecstasy alone remained in the air.A nearly one lakh crowd sighed in unision as the gentleman walked towards the pavilion.He was cleaned bowled on 99.

Those were the Sunny Days when Packer introduced Night cricket.The first Asian games were declared open when the television set was a luxury .Memories of a huge indoor stadium , where a dashing Amitabh fitted with electric bulbs on his dress,danced to the tune of Sara Zamana Haseenon ka deewana with a pretty Neetu by his side , come not to haunt but to give me immense pleasure.I have no count of the number of times I would have watched Biwi O Biwi,a laugh riot starring Randhir Kapoor and Poonam Dhillon,simply because we had just acquired a video casette player and this movie came free with the purchase. I watched the movie innumerable number of times ,memorised the dialogues which had a lasting impression on my young mind.So ! I had sufficient reason to believe that a manglik should get married only to a manglik .

The Mangalyan now reinforces my faith in goodness of humanity,that God dwells in Good,that you are the creator of your own destiny and so you become what you think.A positive mind leads one to the path of growth and thereby endows upon one , the ability to decide without superstitions obstructing his/her way of thinking.Mankind has progressed way beyond what may have been deemed impossible...

These and many more memories are very special,they are random thoughts that spring up in my mind now and then....of cement floors,wooden shutters,wooden foldable chairs,trunk boxes,holdalls,Navtal locks,the large iron keys,rusty creaking iron door latches,clicking fan regulators and the clacking ceramic switches.....

A CORNERED CAT BECOMES AS FIERCE AS A LION !

Pethals that reminds me...So I blabber !..Hmmmmmm !...Anyway it is a new day ,a new morn and time to move on.Its going to be a tougher day at work.The seventh pay commission is due and the noose is getting tighter with every passing day.The revised pay scales are already being discussed and when this comes into force, I will be seeing the third pay commission during my career..

Each day is a new experience,some nice ,some unpleasant.Yet don't we forget all that is unpleasant and remember the nice ones.Maybe I go a bit too far..I share my experiences...Sorry ! oops Instead of keeping it to myself,I share my pethals..Anyway hang in there and kindly bear with me..

I forgot to mention that I can get angry too.I am normally patient and very tolerant.But at times I can blow my top ,without anybody really being affected by it.I do not scream or shout or express my anger in rude words..I just become silent...

This is also a problem.When I am angry and genuinely enraged, I start working more harder.Perhaps that is a way of moving out of a situation that has caused the anger .Infact ,come to think of it,it helps a lot . I calm down instantly and move on as if nothing had ever happened .I do not carry grudges.I forgive .I simply put myself in the other person's shoe and I become considerate.Who am I to judge anybody ?

Rani is a sweeper.She comes by 5AM in the mornings ,sweeps the common areas and waters the plants.Very recently a cat has made our garage its home.She is happily nestled under our car with her kittens.

Rani feeds the cats.She comes to me everyday with request for milk.I do not mind and happily I give it to her.

All that I have requested her is to take the cats to the street outside and feed them there.Now she will never listen..

In spite of several reminders ,she keeps making the same mistake of feeding the cats within the building compound .especially near my entrance door.

The cats are also aware that I give her the milk.So whenever she comes to me,the cats follow her religiously.

With no intention to hurt cat lovers....Oh ! But ! Uggghhhh ! I hate cats .Somehow, I simply cannot stand these catty felines.

Sometimes when Rani comes in,they manage to enter too and that is when T.Nagar comes to know that a kind hearted woman is in distress.

Now how do you expect me to keep my cool and also not blabber ? Rani gets a firing and milk every day.

Today morning while drawing the kolam , she came to me asking for milk.I completed drawing the kolam and went into the kitchen.By the time I could come out with the milk,the pussies had entered.Prancing with delight, one sat quietly under the dining table,another slipped into a bedroom nearby and the other two ran inside the house.

I was aghast.My husband was not at home and I was helpless. Rani and myself chased them into every nook and corner inside the house for nearly 20 minutes before we finally managed to evict them out.

I am famished now and what else do you expect me to do ?I had to write to feel better and I am feeling good :-)

Now the world is talking about terror attacks,mishaps,murders and religion.They do not report Chokkanayaki's travails.Who else but me could do it better ?and who else but friends for readership ?

Hmmm ! Hmmmm ! I guess there is no way out and until the world starts talking about her  ......Aah ! Yes ! the pethals (blabber) is here to stay ..........

I PROMISE TO PAY THE BEARER !

FB is getting wierder by the day.So and so likes my post .So and so comments on my status.Incidentally the post and the status are the same.

Nevertheless ,let's proceed to something interesting.Do you want to hear a story ?Never mind..It's not too long...:-)

How was Thiruvadhirai friends ? Mine was great..I forgot to tell you all that I live in a joint family where my old parents- in -law get younger by a few decades and are mentally transported to a traditional Tambrahm village on every festival day or maybe all of you are aware of my family tree by now...

So ! please feel free to skip and read.I am only adding content to my blog.:-)

This, you see is more like a direct conversation with you all.Now since I have resolved to blog, like it or not I will have to write..and so I narrate :-)

As a friend advised , I will start writing by inserting a Pullaiyar shui at the beginning of my document.My windows is already Fengshui compliant. I am not original.I am a good observer ,a good listener and I associate myself with people who not not just exude positive vibes,are not only warm and friendly but most important they are down to earth and practical..

Down to earth reminds me of the Chennai earth that has been dug up at several places..Its dug really deep,excavation work is on and the metro is only a matter of time.How long I do not know ?

Anyway,why would I be saying all this ?

From 1st of January , as I have already made public , a resolution that I am determined to stick to, I will reach office on time.Not that I have been going late all these years,just saying, so that you may all understand the gravity of the situation...

Now ! you people jump to hasty conclusions,and I have to keep reiterating that I speak on behalf of a community at large and in order to reaffirm my faith in myself,coz I am sometimes led to believe that I may not be so.........."I am and will only be myself."

My intention is to blog.The refriegerator was stocked with fresh farm veggies.That is the impression I get when my father in law orders for the vegetables.The vegetables were spread out on the kitchen floor.An old woman was excited and the young woman cleverly concealed her gnashing teeth under a wide beam.

I calmed myself and went about arranging the vegetables . It was 4PM on Sunday and by late evening the cut ,diced ,and peeled veggies , neatly arranged in a huge thambalam tray were ready for the next day.

I told you planning is important . So what do you make of this ? I was on time to work.I have also resolved not to open my computer system in the morning hours.This gives me more time to dress better and feel truly good.

The roads are so bad,I stopped using the two wheeler from the 1st. I now commute by an auto . My office is just 2kms from home and at times I take the pedestrian route..

Yesterday was no different.I wanted to be in office on time . I packed my bags,checked for the contents...the mobile,glasses and all and left . As I walked upto the auto stand,a neighbour was also  leaving for work . She offered to drop me and I was thrilled . I had saved 40 bucks..

I reached office on time , was on my customary table by 9.30AM . I was very happy with myself..

Now here comes the tale , the twist to the story and sorry to say so , it would be sufficient, if you could read from here onwards..

The community about which I refer to repeatedly , is a wonderful group of people , loving , kind and compassionate.They are so engrossed in their activities , that they cannot bear any ill feeling towards anybody or even think about hurting others . Since they give others the space , all that they expect is space and the feeling of importance that comes with it..This just motivates them to work better.

What I keep forgetting to tell you all is that these men and women are prone to be forgetful too .This is a concession that you have to give to them coz what they forget or leave behind is in no way going to be detrimental to others..

I opened the drawer to keep my belongings...The mobile ,charger and my glasses went in.The bright green jute bag carrying my lunch occupied its place on the side table.

It was then , that I realised that I had left my purse at home..I went about my work unfazed. My friends went to the canteen .I avoided saying that I was busy.They went to the stores.I said I was too lazy...

Simple ! I did not have money to spend and I did not wish to borrow.Neither did I want anybody to know that I had forgotten to bring my wallet..

It was 5.30PM and time to leave..I would walk home ,I had already decided...

With the ongoing metro work, it is a day and nightmare for pedestrians.Police are helpless and the metro workers chip in helping pedestrians to cross the road..

"A day almost over and done without a purse in my hand.Phew ! I will be home very soon ," saying to myself , I waited patiently to cross . I had waited now for more than 10 minutes.There was no policeman in sight and no volunteer either.

Suddenly , an elderly man dressed in metro uniform, came towards me waving a red flag.He was a volunteer.He stopped the vehicles on the Mount Road near Vanavil and helped me to cross..

When we reached the other end , he held out his hand.." I have not had food today.I don't have money. Madam ! Can you please give me Rs 20 ?" he begged.

He could have been lying.This was the first instance of a volunteer asking for money.I could neither believe nor disbelieve him .I could not tell him that I did not have money.

Yet ! at that juncture I was also inclined to believe him more.He was frail,weak and looked tired.As feelings of compassion seemed to overpower me , I was overwhelmed with a sense of guilt too ."Oh ! how could I be so careless and forgetful ," I reprimanded myself . At that moment,I was frustrated and helpless .

Whether it would have been a right decision ,I am not aware..But if I had the purse in my hand,I would have certainly given him the money.He helped me to cross the road.In fact ,these men are doing a great service.They are perhaps paid a measly amount and they are there on the roads ,all day long , in search of a livelihood.

Bluntly! I refused to give him the money.Though personally I do not like to give alms,especially to the women who walk around with babies in their arms,this time around I was truly upset at not being able to render a fee where it was due..

Maybe not a twenty ,I would have certainly given a fiver.That was not me there ...I was not being myself....I was pretty rude as I walked away.....