A CORNERED CAT BECOMES AS FIERCE AS A LION !

Pethals that reminds me...So I blabber !..Hmmmmmm !...Anyway it is a new day ,a new morn and time to move on.Its going to be a tougher day at work.The seventh pay commission is due and the noose is getting tighter with every passing day.The revised pay scales are already being discussed and when this comes into force, I will be seeing the third pay commission during my career..

Each day is a new experience,some nice ,some unpleasant.Yet don't we forget all that is unpleasant and remember the nice ones.Maybe I go a bit too far..I share my experiences...Sorry ! oops Instead of keeping it to myself,I share my pethals..Anyway hang in there and kindly bear with me..

I forgot to mention that I can get angry too.I am normally patient and very tolerant.But at times I can blow my top ,without anybody really being affected by it.I do not scream or shout or express my anger in rude words..I just become silent...

This is also a problem.When I am angry and genuinely enraged, I start working more harder.Perhaps that is a way of moving out of a situation that has caused the anger .Infact ,come to think of it,it helps a lot . I calm down instantly and move on as if nothing had ever happened .I do not carry grudges.I forgive .I simply put myself in the other person's shoe and I become considerate.Who am I to judge anybody ?

Rani is a sweeper.She comes by 5AM in the mornings ,sweeps the common areas and waters the plants.Very recently a cat has made our garage its home.She is happily nestled under our car with her kittens.

Rani feeds the cats.She comes to me everyday with request for milk.I do not mind and happily I give it to her.

All that I have requested her is to take the cats to the street outside and feed them there.Now she will never listen..

In spite of several reminders ,she keeps making the same mistake of feeding the cats within the building compound .especially near my entrance door.

The cats are also aware that I give her the milk.So whenever she comes to me,the cats follow her religiously.

With no intention to hurt cat lovers....Oh ! But ! Uggghhhh ! I hate cats .Somehow, I simply cannot stand these catty felines.

Sometimes when Rani comes in,they manage to enter too and that is when T.Nagar comes to know that a kind hearted woman is in distress.

Now how do you expect me to keep my cool and also not blabber ? Rani gets a firing and milk every day.

Today morning while drawing the kolam , she came to me asking for milk.I completed drawing the kolam and went into the kitchen.By the time I could come out with the milk,the pussies had entered.Prancing with delight, one sat quietly under the dining table,another slipped into a bedroom nearby and the other two ran inside the house.

I was aghast.My husband was not at home and I was helpless. Rani and myself chased them into every nook and corner inside the house for nearly 20 minutes before we finally managed to evict them out.

I am famished now and what else do you expect me to do ?I had to write to feel better and I am feeling good :-)

Now the world is talking about terror attacks,mishaps,murders and religion.They do not report Chokkanayaki's travails.Who else but me could do it better ?and who else but friends for readership ?

Hmmm ! Hmmmm ! I guess there is no way out and until the world starts talking about her  ......Aah ! Yes ! the pethals (blabber) is here to stay ..........

I PROMISE TO PAY THE BEARER !

FB is getting wierder by the day.So and so likes my post .So and so comments on my status.Incidentally the post and the status are the same.

Nevertheless ,let's proceed to something interesting.Do you want to hear a story ?Never mind..It's not too long...:-)

How was Thiruvadhirai friends ? Mine was great..I forgot to tell you all that I live in a joint family where my old parents- in -law get younger by a few decades and are mentally transported to a traditional Tambrahm village on every festival day or maybe all of you are aware of my family tree by now...

So ! please feel free to skip and read.I am only adding content to my blog.:-)

This, you see is more like a direct conversation with you all.Now since I have resolved to blog, like it or not I will have to write..and so I narrate :-)

As a friend advised , I will start writing by inserting a Pullaiyar shui at the beginning of my document.My windows is already Fengshui compliant. I am not original.I am a good observer ,a good listener and I associate myself with people who not not just exude positive vibes,are not only warm and friendly but most important they are down to earth and practical..

Down to earth reminds me of the Chennai earth that has been dug up at several places..Its dug really deep,excavation work is on and the metro is only a matter of time.How long I do not know ?

Anyway,why would I be saying all this ?

From 1st of January , as I have already made public , a resolution that I am determined to stick to, I will reach office on time.Not that I have been going late all these years,just saying, so that you may all understand the gravity of the situation...

Now ! you people jump to hasty conclusions,and I have to keep reiterating that I speak on behalf of a community at large and in order to reaffirm my faith in myself,coz I am sometimes led to believe that I may not be so.........."I am and will only be myself."

My intention is to blog.The refriegerator was stocked with fresh farm veggies.That is the impression I get when my father in law orders for the vegetables.The vegetables were spread out on the kitchen floor.An old woman was excited and the young woman cleverly concealed her gnashing teeth under a wide beam.

I calmed myself and went about arranging the vegetables . It was 4PM on Sunday and by late evening the cut ,diced ,and peeled veggies , neatly arranged in a huge thambalam tray were ready for the next day.

I told you planning is important . So what do you make of this ? I was on time to work.I have also resolved not to open my computer system in the morning hours.This gives me more time to dress better and feel truly good.

The roads are so bad,I stopped using the two wheeler from the 1st. I now commute by an auto . My office is just 2kms from home and at times I take the pedestrian route..

Yesterday was no different.I wanted to be in office on time . I packed my bags,checked for the contents...the mobile,glasses and all and left . As I walked upto the auto stand,a neighbour was also  leaving for work . She offered to drop me and I was thrilled . I had saved 40 bucks..

I reached office on time , was on my customary table by 9.30AM . I was very happy with myself..

Now here comes the tale , the twist to the story and sorry to say so , it would be sufficient, if you could read from here onwards..

The community about which I refer to repeatedly , is a wonderful group of people , loving , kind and compassionate.They are so engrossed in their activities , that they cannot bear any ill feeling towards anybody or even think about hurting others . Since they give others the space , all that they expect is space and the feeling of importance that comes with it..This just motivates them to work better.

What I keep forgetting to tell you all is that these men and women are prone to be forgetful too .This is a concession that you have to give to them coz what they forget or leave behind is in no way going to be detrimental to others..

I opened the drawer to keep my belongings...The mobile ,charger and my glasses went in.The bright green jute bag carrying my lunch occupied its place on the side table.

It was then , that I realised that I had left my purse at home..I went about my work unfazed. My friends went to the canteen .I avoided saying that I was busy.They went to the stores.I said I was too lazy...

Simple ! I did not have money to spend and I did not wish to borrow.Neither did I want anybody to know that I had forgotten to bring my wallet..

It was 5.30PM and time to leave..I would walk home ,I had already decided...

With the ongoing metro work, it is a day and nightmare for pedestrians.Police are helpless and the metro workers chip in helping pedestrians to cross the road..

"A day almost over and done without a purse in my hand.Phew ! I will be home very soon ," saying to myself , I waited patiently to cross . I had waited now for more than 10 minutes.There was no policeman in sight and no volunteer either.

Suddenly , an elderly man dressed in metro uniform, came towards me waving a red flag.He was a volunteer.He stopped the vehicles on the Mount Road near Vanavil and helped me to cross..

When we reached the other end , he held out his hand.." I have not had food today.I don't have money. Madam ! Can you please give me Rs 20 ?" he begged.

He could have been lying.This was the first instance of a volunteer asking for money.I could neither believe nor disbelieve him .I could not tell him that I did not have money.

Yet ! at that juncture I was also inclined to believe him more.He was frail,weak and looked tired.As feelings of compassion seemed to overpower me , I was overwhelmed with a sense of guilt too ."Oh ! how could I be so careless and forgetful ," I reprimanded myself . At that moment,I was frustrated and helpless .

Whether it would have been a right decision ,I am not aware..But if I had the purse in my hand,I would have certainly given him the money.He helped me to cross the road.In fact ,these men are doing a great service.They are perhaps paid a measly amount and they are there on the roads ,all day long , in search of a livelihood.

Bluntly! I refused to give him the money.Though personally I do not like to give alms,especially to the women who walk around with babies in their arms,this time around I was truly upset at not being able to render a fee where it was due..

Maybe not a twenty ,I would have certainly given a fiver.That was not me there ...I was not being myself....I was pretty rude as I walked away.....

EXPRESS IT !

This one is a year end special !

I know what I want, but I do not have it.I desire to acquire it.It is a dream yet to be realised. It is a passion.That's when I also realise that choosing a desire is important because I cannot manifest something to reality unless I know what I am genuinely craving for. I know that,once the passion has been identified all roads will certainly lead to the goal.

Ambition helps me to focus my energy towards the goal.Here, I define goal as the ultimate destination,an achievable distance that I can cover with the available resources I have access to and that necessarily includes steadfast devotion ,sincerity,dedication and perseverance

Desire without the required efforts is the lowest level of manifestation because subconsciously a negative energy comes into play bringing into the forefront images of what I crave for but do not possess.

So I imagine having what I want.

This is a difficult ,because it is immensely hard to imagine something that does not exist yet... but this is how to go about to get it. To attract something, I need to radiate the right kind of energy visualizing having what I really want.

Even when I do not have it,I need to be thankful for having what I desire.So necessarily because I need it at any cost,I will endeavour to procure it by all means.

For instance ! Let me say this loud, right now. "I am thankful for my cup of coffee.". This will help me convince my subconscious that I truly have what I desire.

It's a subtle difference, but the key here is changing the vibration of the energy I am putting out. By being thankful, I am telling the world in the most concrete way possible that I have achieved my goal even though I haven't.I have sent the signals that I am working towards it.

I tell this every night before I go to bed.I tell this every time I see the empty bottle.I say this everytime before the coffee powder runs out.I repeatedly tell this to myself when I prepare the decoction.I am constantly reminding myself of the hot brew and the aroma of the bean.As images of the bean and the powder conjure up in front of my eyes it's an irresistible urge to lay my hands on the cuppa as and when I desire.I am thankful to the Leos ,the Narsus,the Vijayrams and the Coffee Days all within a one km radius around me.

This moment, every morning ,every noon and every evening while you have the coffee vision ,be thankful that you have it and Express it out loud,loud enough for the neighbourhoods to hear "I am thankful that I have my cup of Expresso...."

I tasted it too.Its incredibly awesome 

MERRY CHRISTMAS !

"Was it a boon ? Oh ! yes Certainly.
My formative years , I do cherish.
The guiding light shows me the way.
In my infancy, I must have done something good."

Five plus and I walked into the chapel.
Mother Superior welcomed me.
She hugged me and blessed me.
"My sweet child," she said softly ,
"Light this candle and spread the message of love.
In your infancy, you must have done something good."

"Was it a boon ? Oh ! yes Certainly.
My formative years , I do cherish.
The guiding light shows me the way.
In my infancy, I must have done something good."

She lead me into the prayer hall ,
and silently Mother prayed for me.
With folded hands she beseeched the Holy Mother.
"Take her into the Carmel fold , Dear Mother ,
Lead her to a virtuous life,
kind and understanding may she be."

"Was it a boon ? Oh ! Yes certainly ,
and my teenage years I do cherish.
The guiding light shows me the way,
In my childhood, I must have done something good."

Eighteen plus and I walked into a new chapel.
Reverend Father welcomed me .
He placed his hand on my head and blessed me.
"My sweet child !" he said affectionately ,
"Light this candle and spread the message of love.
"In your childhood ,you must have done something good."

"Was it a boon ? Oh ! Yes certainly ,
and my teenage years I do cherish.
The guiding light shows me the way,
In my childhood, I must have done something good."

He lead me into the prayer hall
and silently he prayed for me.
Kneeling down before the Lord he prayed,
"Take her into the Xavier fold," Dear Lord ,
Lead her to a virtuous life,
kind and understanding may she be "

"Is it a boon ? Oh ! Yes certainly ,
and my life I do cherish.
The guiding light shows me the way ,
I must be doing something good."

Shattered !

They who claim responsibility,
wage a war against humanity.
They , who have committed cold blooded murder,
do they not have offsprings of their own ?

The blood they shed,runs in their veins ,
progeny they wipe,are children of kith and kin,
the dastardly act that claims innocent lives,
how many more to come ? Oh ! merciful one !

My heart breaks,for the apple of the eyes....
the scenes are heart wrenching ! Oh ! Why am I alive ?
My heart bleeds for the inconsolable parents,
Oh ! Merciful one can you ever compensate ?

They grieve,fear returns to haunt ,
Survivors will lead the life of a wretched recluse,
A womb gave life in flesh and blood..
the life claimed the flesh and blood of another womb....

They bid adieu ,dressed smartly they had waved ,
never to return.smart and chic they were the brave hearts ,
The bullets ridden tender body,returned home in a casket...
an unholy death judgement man had pronounced...

Home grown terror rears its ugly head ,
what was the fault of the tender buds ?
how long will the hapless scream ?
how long do we have to endure ?

The creator is deeply anguished,
the merciful one is inconsolable too,
Destiny he says , is what we make our lives to be,
coz snakes feed on milk but only spew venom....

CHECKMATE ! YOU NEVER KNOW !

To be honest I had nothing on my mind till today morning. After the usual early morning chores, I sat down for an unwinding breakfast moment with a bowl of cornflakes in one hand and the Hindu crossword in another.

What irritates me during the morning rush hour is a phone call. I cannot do anything much about it and yet what frustrates me no end is that, when I am present in the house, it is understood and expected of me to attend to the landline .Well ! I cannot expect my aged parents in law to attend the calls but invariably the caller on the other end will ask for my mother in law....She is a social butterfly.

Most of the times, when the phone bell rings, one of them is certain to be in close proximity  to the instrument. But ! they are hard of hearing , atleast they lend a deaf ear to the ring tone of the instrument, feign total disability to hear and then elsewhere conveniently dismiss it off as a partial handicap..

It was yet another blue Monday morning and the phone was ringing incessantly. Each time I picked up the phone, I was compelled to strike a short and crisp conversation because the caller on the other end happened to be a common friend or a relative.

After the initial courtesy talk, I would hand over the receiver to my mother in- law who would continue to chat till the next call. Once she placed the receiver down and moved away the bell would ring again. I had to maintain my cool.....

So ! this my dear friends , is more or less the scenario on any typical morning when friends and relatives know that it is the ideal time to make enquiries and chat with a friendly elderly woman...

The phone bell rang. I picked up the receiver..The voice of a woman on the other end was not familiar.. Politely she said.."Can I speak to Mrs Saroja. Please tell her that I am her classmate Mrs Sushila. We were together in school at Mayavaram."

I was not surprised. My mother in law is an extrovert and makes friends easily. Much before the advent of the social media and since I know her for  many years now, like many of our elders, she has this habit of maintaining a diary with phone numbers and addresses. She keeps in touch with remotely distant relatives and friends..

I replied " Madam ! She is having her breakfast. Please give me your number. I will ask her to call you back."

She politely replied..."I will call her in another fifteen minutes. Will that be Ok ? May I know whom I am speaking to." She spoke in chaste Thamizh..

I replied...."Sure Madam ! I am her daughter in law.". Saying I kept the receiver down..

It was a Monday. I was preparing myself , mentally and physically to go to work. I could not allow any trivial distraction or conversation to come in the way of my preparation...

I walked upto my mother in law who was enjoying her bowl of oats and I told her about the phone call and the lady. By then the phone started ringing again. It was her brother now on the line. She seemed highly excited and was soon engrossed in a chat with her brother..

Even as she was chatting, I went close to her and said..."Please do not get up from here.Your friend will call now. Please ask your brother to call you later."

Saying this I went into the kitchen to pack my lunch. Consoling myself, that the crossword could be solved, anytime of the day, I wore a big smile and whispered unto myself..."Go ! Girl ! Go ! the weekend is only 5 days away."

I was still in the kitchen when the phone bell rang. It was Mrs Sushila on the line again..

Saroja : "Sushila ! Mrs Viswanathan ! she screamed with ecstasy ! You are a big shot."..She used the very same words..

Sensing her excitement,I came out of the kitchen to listen to the conversation. No harm in going a little late to work, I decided inspite of the resolution I had made just a few minutes earlier....

Inspite of being there, in the midst of all that was live and happening, I could not make any head or tail out of the conversation...

They were exchanging details about themselves..I understood.

My mother in law said "You are a proud mother and on top of this world. Please do come home.............and the conversation went on and on.They giggled and spoke about their childhood days, school at Mayavaram, how they spent evenings in each others homes...etc etc...Now this chat was getting murkier...

Family histories were exchanged. I was amused and curious too.

On my way out...I asked her...."Amma ! Who's this woman ? Who is is this Mrs Sushila Viswanathan ?"

With a big grin my mother in law replied..."She is my school mate, my classmate , a brilliant student who always stood first in Class. She is the mother of the renowned Chess player Anand Viswanathan ."

My mother in law went on to say " A Sushila studied with me in school but only recently I came to know from a common friend that this is indeed the same Sushila I know. ...and then proudly went on to say..."Uma dear ! You have connected with your friends with the help of FB. I still belong to the old school where we connect in person offline. The world is certainly small, "she added with a smile.....I had no option but to keep mum......

I was amused but I was stumped too ! The world is certainly small and all of a sudden, I started feeling rather small. That was not nice of me. Was It ? Did I cut the earlier conversation with Mrs Viswanathan rather rudely ? Yes Maybe I did..Perhaps she would not have realised that, for I was only a stranger and she was reaching out to a childhood buddy not me...or did she ?
It was perhaps a lost opportunity.That cannot be, I convinced myself...

The Queen Mother had certainly played her moves well.....

Well ! As for me ? I tell myself....I am but a pawn in the literal sense of the term still learning, with miles to go, taking one small step at a time, and realising each time, with every move I make, all it takes is simplicity and humility to reach the top.....

A FOLLY REALISED !

It was the year 1989.A visibly tense Nayaki accompanied by her father entered the C wing on the third floor of Periyar EVR building Nandanam.It was her first day at work,the day 26th June 1989.Since then she has come a long way thanks to the superiors who encouraged her and motivated her to work to the best of her ability .

But for family commitments and other priorities which were more important than her job she would have been a gazetted officer today and obliged many of you with her prized signature.Alas ! That was not to be.Anyway for those who really care now and because she cares too she intends signing autograph books right away..Haha :-)

Nevertheless ! jokes apart ,let me straight away get to what I wish to express in this post..

It was the year 2000.We had recently shifted to our own new building within the existing AG campus on Mount Road.Just a couple of years back I had begun to work on the computer.I was posted in the Administrative section and when we shifted to the new Lekha Pariksha Bhavan we had a new officer too.

Mr Chandran was a workaholic and a gentleman with a great sense of humour.But work came first and he meant serious business.Slowly we started realising that he was not as stern as he appeared to be.Yet ! when he blew his top the entire wing trembled.

I was young and very enthusiastic about my work.It could be my attitude or the lessons that my mom taught me..I always keep a cool head and I try my best to work to the satisfaction of my colleagues and superiors,The ulterior motive is always to impress and make it to the list of the officials who are felicitated for their meritorious work.

I was responsible for maintaining the Service books and drawal of pay and allowances of Group A officers.

Every year on the first of July a return is due to Headquarters office New Delhi, intimating the men in position along with several other details such as age,date of appointment,date of completion of probation,dates of increment,promotion and place of posting etc..

I was new to computers and I was slowly learning to use the short cuts.Mr Chandran was particular about using the key board rather than the mouse.He would personally oversee our work while typing and suggest short cuts..That's how I learnt to use the control keys.

It was June end and I was aware about this return.It had to reach Headquarters positively on the first of July.Mr Chandran was a stickler for rules and also stuck to deadlines.We were stiff scared of him and we never dared to stray away from the stipulated dates.

The return was ready.I took a print out ,drafted a note and a covering letter,filed the letter on the correspondence side on the right,filed the note on the left side,numbered the pages,marked the key pages on the note and the letter,affixed flags on the relevant pages and put it up to my immediate officer ,a young woman.She was blindly in love with me I guess.She did not bother to read it,put her initials and sent it to Mr Chandran for his approval.

I was very pleased with myself.I heaved a sigh of relief and took out the crossword section of the newspaper.It was playtime for me...

As I concentrated on the grids,I never realised that somebody was behind me...I was in for a shock when Mr Chandran shouted at the top of his voice and I got up startled.His eyes were blood red and fuming with anger he placed the file on my table.In a gruff voice he said,please check it and put it up again.Realising that he was speaking to a woman,he had mellowed down.Yet the anger was writ largely on his face,I could sense that.He walked away in a huff..

By then the other staff members had also got up from their seats wondering what had happened..I was misty eyed too.I opened the file and checked the contents.The note was perfect,the draft was excellent.What could have gone wrong I wondered ? Pondering over my bad stars thinking that he was in a bad mood and had vented out some other pending pressures on me,I went through the annexure that contained the details of the officers..

Whoa ! What a blunder I had committed I realised !....It was an old return dated 1998.Most of the officers mentioned therein had been transferred out of Tamilnadu. Here was a clear case of a cut, a copy and a paste without edition.I hung my head down in shame,went to his room and apologised...

Realising my folly was enough to cool matters down.It was a lesson and all for my good because I know that I can never commit such a mistake again.

The officer. smiled and said " I  have recommended your name for this year's Merit Award.Please live up to it."....The stars were in my favour.....