EXODUS !

It was the year 1986.I had completed my graduation and like most of the fresh graduates then,I was applying for Government and bank jobs.In the menwhile ,I had also joined an IAS Coaching Institute in Chennai.Dad was eager that I should join the civil services and I was keen too.Alas ! But ! That was not too happen.

Like all enthusiastic fathers keen on securing a stable future for their kids,It was him who did the running around .I just had to sign the application forms.He would carefully browse newspapers for advertisements of the upcoming competitive exams.I do the same now for my girls.

We had shifted to Chennai  just recently.Father  was posted as the Assistant Director of Investigation Having served for more than two and a half decades in the eastern region,this was his first stint in the south and for the first time in his career, he was all set to occupy a prestigious Government accomodation.Needless to say,mother,my brother and myself were thrilled.

The motive of the transfer  was clear.He was in search of a suitable groom for his daughter and the transfer at the opportune moment suited him fine.Most of our relatives were in Chennai and as he started applying for the exams,simultaneously, he was also in the process of exchanging horoscopes .

In the days when internet was unheard of and snail mail the order of the day,Subbu  would painstakingly write letters to the parents of prospective grooms .He would brief Nayaki on the suitors and ask her for her concurrence.She was too naïve or too obedient or too shy or whatever ,Nayaki  would say rather coyly…”Do as you please Anna.I know that you will find the best for me.”

Anna had choices clearly listed out and and it was 1) chartered accountant,2)civil services,3)banks ,in that order.When we received Doc’s horoscope,he was not too keen.Anyway as they say matches are made in heaven and the knot tied on earth.So it was destiny that brought us together and I am truly thankful for that.It was a distant relative who had suggested this alliance.Thripura mami was a very learned woman and an astrologer too.She happened to be Nayaki’s newly wedded cousin’s grand mother-in-law.

The horoscope of a budding ophthalmologist was sent to my father Subbu in 1985 when we were still in Kolkata. Subbu’s chittappa…Nagarajan chittappa was the family astrologer and he had approved of the match.The matching of the horoscopes was conveyed to the boy’s family .Nayaki’s recent photograph was forwarded along with the letter.

Doc’s father T.R.Mahalingam alias Ambi was slow to respond.We were still in Calcutta and more than three months had lapsed since my father had sent the letter to Ambi.I think he sent a reminder also to 1& 2 TPS Nagar,Medical College Road Thanjavur .

A few days later we received Ambi’s letter.”Dear Sir ! Much though we are interested in pursuing this alliance and taking it further,we are unable to proceed.We wish your daughter a happy future.”The photograph was also returned.

In the meantime we had begun to pack bag and baggage.The containers had arrived and with a  heavy heart we were preparing ourselves to leave Calcutta for good.Our association with the city of joy was coming to an end….As I had a glimpse of the Bhagirathi Hooghly from the Howrah Bridge,Nayaki was unaware of the flow of where she was headed to.With tears and dreams in her eyes Nayaki occupied the top berth of the Ist class coupe of Coramandel Express…and the train chugged slowly away from the station…..

PAPA LOVE !

Both my girls are pursuing their studies in hostels.My younger daughter has been away for five years now and I still miss her terribly.Sometimes ,when they are busy and I am unable to speak to them during the course of the day I feel miserable..On such days I can only manage to say a Hi and a Bye..

I was speaking to my younger daughter yesterday evening.She was in a mood to talk,and we chatted for nearly an hour.Here I reproduce a transcript of the conversation...

Amma : Hey ! Girl ! How was your posting today ? Missing you terribly dear girl.

Daughter : Ma ! Day was good.I was back in my room early.I will be busy tomorrow.I miss you too Ma but I miss Appa more..

Amma : Huh !

My younger daughter is doing her internship after completing MBBS and is right now posted in the paediatric unit.

Daughter : I am loving the paediatric posting.I was a pre term baby right ? and because you were not keeping too well Appa took care of me.You have told me so many times that my grandmothers also took care of me so that you could take complete rest .

Amma : Huh ! Yes ! But that was only for a couple of months and well ! all new moms get the care and attention.

Daughter : Yes....But you joined duty after six months .Then grandmother and Appa took turns to take care of me .Amma ! I remember very well.When we were unwell ,or down with cold or fever ,Appa was always by our side.

Amma : I know ,I know , that's because Appa is a doctor and as a Dad he loves you so dearly.So do I ,but I am magnanimous.He liked to tend to your needs and you were Appa's daughter.I let you both be .

Daughter : When we were older,he stood in the queue for school admission ,in the queue again every year to pay the fees .When we started going to school he dropped us,picked us up .He took us to the tailor for our
school uniforms ,to Bata for the shoes and Baggy &Baggy for the school bags.

Amma : He had flexible working hours.He loves you immensely.He liked to do the running
around.It was a pleasure.So he did it.I would have done it too.

Daughter : He ironed our uniform,filled the water bottles and polished our shoes.Remember ! Akka would insist...Muippa thaan venum ..Muippa thaan ootanum...( I want Appa,I want Appa to feed me )

Amma :Hmmmmmm... I packed your lunch everyday.

Daughter : Yes ! You made yummy parathas every day.You were good at it and you never gave us a choice.It was parathas with Aloo on Monday,parathas with a mix veg on Tuesday,Parathas with
tomato thokku on Wednesdays,Parathas with dhal on Thursday and Parathas with lady's finger on
Friday..

Amma : Hmmmmmmm...

Daughter was in a mood to pull amma's legs and Amma was in no mood to relent.I was determined to make her acknowledge my services..

Amma : Do you mean to say that I have not done anything for you?I have helped you with your
projects,experiments,drawings and your daily lessons.I combed your hair and tied it in pigtails.
Daughter : Ouch ! Yes ! The tight piggy tails hurt but we never complained.Ma ! We were good at
studies.If you helped with the projects,Appa bought the chart paper ,colour pencils and other stationery items.Appa covered our books with brown paper and stuck the labels too.You were never
good at covering books.Appa used to do a very neat job and later we started doing it on our own.So you did not have much of a problem.You never worried about us studying and if I am not wrong we were on our own from Std V. When we burnt the midnight oil,Appa gave us company even as you slept.But yes ! you helped us at times with Maths...You were really helpful..

Amma : Oh ! Was I ? Oh Really ? How was I useful ?....

I was all ready to flare up but realising that my girl was alone and missing her dad ,I decided to keep mum.As a mother ,I was quick to understand that she was misty eyed ,though the tone in her voice
did not give away that emotion...and I am absolutely certain that under similar circumstances a Dad would not be able to figure out the state of mind of his daughter.

Daughter : I remember you scolding us for making silly mistakes..

Amma : So ? This is not a compliment my dear girl...

Daughter : You would get very angry when we left a problem incomplete or did not write the answer
fully in figures and words....Remember you used to ask us.?
...Pattammma...Ithu yenna maaa..?????.Kayuthaya,Gudharaya,Vengayama ,KathirukkayA...? ( Sweetheart ! What's this ? Donkey,Horse,Onion or Eggplant ?

Amma : :-).....The momentary emotion of anger was disappearing and I was happy again,thrilled rather.My girl misses me.I am in her thoughts,Saying to myself,I smiled and continued with the conversation..

Daughter : These words had a deep impression on our young minds such that we were careful while solving maths problems...Whenever I solved a math problem and wrote the answer,the image of a donkey would pop up in my mind..I tell my friends even now and we have a good laugh...See you were that beneficial....She laughed heartily...

AmmA : Apadeeya....Seree vaa unnai gavinikkeren....( I will take care of you...literally translated )

Both my daughters were good at Maths .My younger daughter was very good . As far as I can remember she always scored full marks in Maths.Every year when she received her report card her teachers had a special word of praise for her Math abilities.She was also a state rank holder in Maths in the Board Exam.

Daughter : Amma , I was a math whiz kid.

Amma :Yes dear ,You should have majored in Maths instead of medicine.I wanted you to join the Institute of Maths.You did not listen to me...

Daughter : I know Ma...My dear Appa has done so much for me.By pursuing a career in Medicine,which is so dear to him, I knew he would be very happy...It's my way of repaying....Not
that he would not have approved any other decision of mine but this has made him proud...

Amma : Ok ! Enough ! So tell me...how do you intend to repay me ?

Daughter : Ma ! I Received my first stipend today....Name anything that you want and it will be yours......Appa is a man of few wants .He is so simple.So I am not going to ask him if he needs anything...

Amma : Hmmmmmmmm......

I was slipping into a state of amnesia.As I ponder now on  what I did for my girls,I seem to forget,I am unable to recall.

 .Desperate, I hit upon an idea...I will go on flashback mode,rewind and try to recall day by day from day one.It is going to be a mission tough but not impossible...As I try to recall now ,I remember the story telling sessions,the  read aloud fairy tale moments,my presence as the make artist,my visits to the fancy dress shop on Kodambakkam High Road and phew ! I am relieved...Anyway,till I am able to convince myself of my painstaking efforts that I had taken in nurturing and bringing them up,and then drive the point into their heads....See Amma did this for you ,Amma did that...I will be myself as always....let go,let them be and allow the trio to be enamoured of  one another .......

Moral of the story : A Father is a Daughter"s best friend and the
Daughter will always be the apple of his eyes.

OUCH ! POTATO !

"The demand will be met.Aloo shedho it will be for lunch ,"said Nayaki unto herself.Its been a long long time since she had met her own demands.Nayak was stepping out for his morning walk.
A delighted Nayaki beamed and stopped him."Oh ! Can you please lend me a ear ? I am so excited,"she said.Heeding to her request,he sat down on the sofa in the living room ,knowing pretty well that she would be unleashing a tall story..

"I am going to have boiled potatoes for lunch today,"she exclaimed with a sense of elation.

An inexpressive spouse was unmoved.He just said.."So ?"

"Just to keep you informed,that the lunch menu will have boiled potatoes without their jackets,"she went on to say.."Please! Please can you buy 1 kg of potatoes on your way back from your morning walk ?"

Expressing his displeasure ,he retorted..."Potatoes are a big NO and you know that very well.But since you insist and also because plain boiled potatoes are harmless,I shall get them for you.Only on the condition that you promise ,you will not fry them."

Nayaki was pleased and sensing her happiness ,Nayak committed a grave mistake once again....a mistake he keeps repeating but fails to learn from them.He quizzed her..."Why the sudden craving for potato my dear?"

and that was it.She started spinning a yarn and he started yawning...

"Oh ! My Dearest ! The Goddess of writing must be immensely pleased with me.She appeared in my dreams last night.A slim dusky complexioned goddess with fashionable ear plugs,a slimmer smart phone in one hand and a Mac Book Pro in another,draped in a papyrus Saree which is in vogue today,walked down the winding stairs from inside what I could make out must have been a heritage library...

Bespactled in a pair of thin variluxed rimless glasses,very much ' IN ' these days,attached to a long trendy 24 carat golden chain that held on to the frame,she pulled the Saree pallu on to her front and kept walking down.All along I was admiring her svelte figure and the crisp drape.The patterns on the Saree were grids ,down and across with cryptic clues painted in Indian Ink.The Saree was digital I guess.From afar ,as I solved the clues ,newer ones appeared and all of a sudden the patterns changed,Oh! my beloved."

Amazed at the advancement in technology,to my bewilderment the designs kept changing.As I stared,the format moved to a blank ruled Note pad .Glaring at me from a distance,she made signs,indicating me to start writing .I pointed my index finger towards the note pad and started writing in thin air."my dearest.

Over the years,from a joint endeavour by the index finger and the thumb,with the aid of lead,chalk and ink ,you know that as a writer,I have slowly evolved from being bifingered to being decafingered.Shaking a leg has been so much easier, than shaking a lone finger in thin air.I was doing just that.Can you imagine."

Making signals to continue,the Goddess pointed at the address bar ,that ran across the border of the Saree.The intricate designs on the border baffled me.Small solitaire stones sparkled and she smiled at me as if to say."The net is working.You can point,shake ,flip and search."

I looked to my front,to my back and then I looked sideways.The corridors were empty.I stood on a landing unable to move.By now,she was just a step away from me.I admired her dark ebony tresses plaited in a single braid..Must be a computerised image make over ,I mused at the muse.

Dear Goddess ! Bless me that I may have the fodder I need.Endow me with clarity to contemplate and express. I prayed to her fervently...Aren't you pleased with me my dearest ?"

"So be it dear child ,"saying,she had swayed her arms lovingly over my bowed head...

Waking me up from my deep slumber,she blessed me.Caressing me ,she kissed my forehead and
said...

"Its Six AM dearest blogger.Go peel some potatoes and then think."

The Prodigal Nayaki Returns !

"Shree chakra raja simhasaneswaree,shree lalithambikaye bhuvaneswaree.".crooned Kannamani inside the puja room on the second floor of 178 Rash Beharee Avenue...Vijaya,she cried out..".Uppu kuzhakkattai poornathirukku elimminchambazham pizhiya marunthudathey." Seree Amma.aracha.Ulundhai vega potturkken.Marakkamatten,"...solii Vijaya went about her Aadi Friday chores.."..Vijaya ! do not forget to add lime to the urad dal filling for the salt modaks," a devout and pious Kannamani called out to Vijaya.Yes Amma I shall remember to do that ,"replied the dutiful daughter-in-law Vijaya.

You can never think creative if you do not work hard remarked a friend.That set me thinking...Oh really ? I mused...and creativity in any form finds its way out thanks to the positive mind set of the individual,Right? I added.It also depends upon the number of funny bones and that varies from individual to individual.While some are endowed with a surplus,many ,I am sorry to say do not have even a single one.The friend smiled and nodded in agreement.

I am not surprised when people crib and complain.Life is not a bed of roses,not even for the Gates ,the Birlas or the Ambanis of the world....An individual falls,stumbles,rises,reaches desired heights ,fails at times and tastes success at times.In this journey he undergoes pain ,and when he strives hard the best things he receives are not served to him on a platter...No never...He chooses to hide his pain and moves on.As he moves on,sometimes on thorn ridden paths,he picks up the roses too and makes Happiness a habit.He is happy being himself,lost in admiring his possessions and striving hard towards a reachable goal.He is plain happy ,laughs away his woes and the positivity in him makes him feel extremely good.The side effects are positive and that set me thinking again.

Growing up in a joint family has its advantages and it's share of pinpricks.Atleast it prepared me to live in a joint family .Growing up in one was exciting should I say ? Living in another has been a greater challenge.As I step into my fifteeth year of existence , next year,and look back....Whoa!..I grew up in a joint family and the upbringing lasted for 25 years.Its been another 25 years and whoa! I am still growing.The state of enlightenment still eludes me and I am happily ignorant.Whoever said that ignorance is bliss ,would be happy to read this.

Kannamani had chalked out her Aadi Velli plans.Kuzhakkattais to be made and Ma vilakku to be lit was on the top of her agenda..Vijaya,she called out to her obedient daughter in law.Please make all the necessary arrangements.It was Saturday and Aadi Friday was a week away.Times haven't changed much for today's Nayaki.Saroja chalks out plans and executes them.Citing bossy pressures,Nayaki feigns ignorance and she is excused....Anyway Nayaki is a fantastic helper.She takes care of all the
running around and the odd jobs as Saroja painstakingly makes small yummy Kuzhakkattais.

In the early sevenths Chokkanayaki was a silent spectator.She was amused .Intha Kannamani Patti Vishnu sahasranamam sollarangala illa oray Kuzhakkattai maava ariaithu ariaithu Kuzhakattai bhajanai panrangala ?" ( Does this Kannamani Patti chant the Vishnu Sahasranamam or does she recite the Modak Chant repeatedly?She wakes up with Modaks all over in her body and mind," baby Nayaki chuckled.

Vijaya used to narrate to her kids tales from the Panchatantra and the Jatakas.With a mischievous glint in her eye and a naughty look on her face,she would ask her grandma..".Kannamani Amma ! Kuzhakattaikku kannu undo dee ? Does the modak have eyes?
Kuzhakattaikku kathu undo dee?Does the modak have ears?
Kuzhakattaikku Vaay undo dee?"Does the modak have a mouth ?

Po Kuzhakkattaikku Vaal Undu..
.Unakku Kuzhakkattais kidayathu,
"Go ! Modak has a tail.You will not get modaks to eat,"saying Kannamani would admonish her,only to reward her later sumptuously.

It was great fun growing up in such a family in the midst of a parabhrahmam grandfather,a grandma whose thoughts were always with the hidden provisions ,genius uncles ,unpredictable aunts , gem of parents and a calm and composed brother.

I saw my mom work tirelessly always with a smile on her lips.When I was five years young,I realised the secret behind her smile.The Iyer family despised sulk.It must have been really tough.She was just
21 when she entered the family.An Osmania University graduate,slowly she adapted beautifully to the needs of the Tambong family.She was my youngest uncle's first tution teacher.He doted on her
then.He dotes on her till today.

You may be wondering why I am saying all this ?...We love to complain about the weather,about the government,about the roads,about the transport and declare that but for the road blocks,we would be much happier and more comfortably placed.I agree,but citing such circumstances,one tends to become more lazy.

Grandma had a knack of keeping herself and the others busy.She was good at delegation.Granpa would ask every day..".I am going out for a walk.Do you need something? " She would reply immediately..."Please buy I kg coffee powder,I tin Ovaltin,I kg of Soap powder,6 Sunlight Bars and Two packets of Sandalwood Incense."Grandpa knew very well that she had a store stocked with daily provisions and soap items.He never questioned her but faithfully walked out and returned home
empty handed mostly.

Then it was her turn to give him a piece of advice and move on.The argument would last for a few seconds and life would move on normally.Visitors to our home were always welcomed with a mixed fragrance of incense,camphor,face powder ,Coffee and detergent.We had ample stock tucked away in all corners.

Water was scarce.To be honest there was no water connection and no taps either.Mom used to get water for the daily puja rituals and cooking from a hand tubewell on the ground floor.We lived on the second floor and I remember she used to carry pots of water several times during the day.I have never seen her complain.

Transfer of blame is a sign of weakness.As human it is natural to have negative and positive feelings.Here I wish to stress that it is important to understand that just as moments of glory are temporary,we need not live under a perpetual fear of the unexpected ,unexpected I say because all that is good is what we expect and desire.Its the worry of uncertainty,the possibility of untoward incidents that we constantly think may happen,that paves the way for negativity to make an easy entry into the sub conscious mind.All that is fed into the sub conscious mind is certain to happen sooner or later..

This and more gyan was repeatedly fed into the young minds by a stern Chandru.The octogenarian uncle is a self made man.He plays bridge every day,writes columns in newspapers ,moves around in
public transport,walks a mile every day and makes sure that everyone around him wears a smile always.

"Idling and Negativity breed ill feelings and robs the individual of basic reasoning skills,and instead of appreciating all that he is endowed with,he is always dissatisfied citing innumerable excuses,"he would say.......He spoke to me a few days back and said..."Hey lazy bones.I stumbled on a web site"Live Mocha.in"........

That's my uncle....He will take the horse to the water...and there ends his efforts...He will expect a feedback.So I have decided to devote a part of this weekend on Mocha..

Today the 1st of August 2014 is another normal Friday.Planning and prioritisation keeps Nayaki cool headed.The First Aadee Friday witnessed the Ma Vilakku celebrations and Kuzhakkattais were devoured last Friday.....Ofcourse I did remember to add lime to the ulunthu pooranam.....It was Yummmmmmm...

Celebrate Him Every Moment !

Insulin dependant and outrageously independent,

sometimes accomodative but mostly arrogant,

highly egoistic,he will not hurt a soul,

blame it on the octa age,he thinks he is the authority sole.

He decides the menu and is a vociferous debator,

you are not mistaken,he is a noisy spectator.

He will poke his head in all matters and give his advice valuable,

and also say “Take it or leave it,”Isn't that quite commendable ?

He has more reasons to complain than to be content about,

yet once upon a time,he would never engage in a verbal bout.

His life revolves around a small unit and so he is still possessive,

his loved ones mean the world to him and so he tries to be assertive.

He needs tender care and all that he craves for is attention,

Come sit and talk with me is his only expectation.

“I have been there,done all that and please do not interrogate,

I am aware, sweets are taboo ,I may not be reminded,”he’ll reiterate.

He will go out for the morning stroll,empty handed,

and return with a little lad in tow, and a purse disbanded.

Shocked family members will shriek in utter disbelief,

Oh ! the pantry is already bursting with fruits and greens,they wail in grief.

Undeterred,with a wry smile he will move away from the scene,

Make himself comfortable and switch on the time machine,

Now he needs an accomplice or somebody who can lend a ear,

listen to tales bygone,his achievements and about his career.

He is on cloud nine with friends and relatives around him,

Can you please buy a magnifying glass for me,the figures appear dim.

“I am unable to browse the internet,”he will plead “please have mercy on me,”

These are his favourite catch words to whomsoever he happens to see.

I am fortunate to still have a father and a father-in-law around,

The chains of affection,though overzealous, I am bound.

I cry , I fight , I squabble , I argue hopelessly , endlessly with them.

I can never see eye to eye with them , in my realm.

Yet ! I know the very next moment , they will come back to me,

I need to listen to the old boring tales,same requests and in life how one should be,

Their’s is a life of purpose well lead,well accomplished and satisfying,

and mine of being able to cherish the now with them every moment ,so gratifying…

A Weekend is near ! Phew !

Lack of motivation ! huh ! how dare you complain ?
As the undisputed queen of words you no longer reign.
I can hear a shrill voice urging me to work hard…..
"Go slog in the kitchen ,miss the bus and carry a placard,
Say ,"Dear friends,I am a wee bit absent minded."
"Words that I have lost track of ,I now,search for them instead."
“What have I been consuming of late ?” I wonder,
In the interests of my dear friends, I do repeatedly ponder,
I have duties to fulfil, commitments to oblige and a tradition to uphold ,
I shall now keep a watch on my daily events as they unfold.
"Tap !Tap ! Tap!Knock ! Knock ! Knock !who’s up there,everything all right ?"
A sweet voice replied,"Excellent ! Just a few Grey cells turning pure white."
The distress signals have been sent to a panic stricken recipient.
Intimidated not as yet , she vows to blabber in phases intermittent.
She cannot find the server at Chokkanayaki .express .in ,
Unable to load leaves from memory,she wails from within.
Her network is secured within walls and free movement though permitted,
Should she now think of moving out of her comfort zone, as the voice insisted ?
Could this be a new beginning and indication of better days to come ?
or should she carry on mundane, wait for superannuation and the gratuity handsome......

I WILL BE AN EARLY RISER ! WILL YOU MAKE ME A MINISTER DEAR PRIME MINISTER ?

"No ! I am no longer gonna be here,whispers," Umes.

"In the present scenario,what then brings you here ? "a friend was inclined to know.In the pretext of a grouse,let not your decision be impulsive,"she set forth explicitly.

"The universe is new, " Umes responded with a sly grin ."Buddy ! change is constant ,transformation is an indicator of growth and better days to come. I tread slowly towards that goal ," so Umes spoke.

"Are you allright ?",enquired the friend.

"In pursuit of a vision,for the cause of a dream,I abdicate from my online duties here right now.It's likely that I may seem to have gone bonkers,but could I let go of this perfect offline opportunity ? I shall act in pursuance of the promise,"Umes said with a naughty glint in her eye.

"The message has been conveyed,so I believe that would lead fellow comrades to arrive at the right conclusion regarding my decision.He has been sworn in as the PM of our country.He who has miles to go ,promises to keep , requires a powerful work force for building a strong India."

"I have responded to his request and  confirmed my whole hearted participation in the uphill task process,"pronounced Umes, grinning from ear to ear.My busy schedules will take me far far away from procrastination....

"At the close of a memorable day,a sparkling Raisina is jubliant,the banquet service is over and what else can Umes say tactfully...

Inimitable Umes :-)